Haru-Matsu Pt 1
by Greg78x
Summary: Matsuri ponders over the events of her life one evening. Next part will be Harumi. A distracting sub-angle to the other story I was writing. Couldn't get these characters out of my head. It's quite sad that they say Citrus is ending. Perhaps I invested too much? Quite a shock. This story is written already, just editing in installments.
1. Chapter 1

It was Sunday night, and everyone Matsuri liked or knew was off from school by now. Her homework was done, three papers and two quizzes due tomorrow. These tasks got her for their busywork and their boredom. She was a brilliant girl with quick wit, but she hated wasting time on things that weren't challenging. It was all worth it, since she got to go to school with the people she loved more than life itself. Nene, Harumi and Yuzu were her family now. However, deep down in her core, she knew she wanted more.

She brushed the pink hair that bristled out from the sides of her head and over her eyes. She sat in front an oval desk mirror, staring longingly. Her mother, who she had barely any connection to, told her that constantly dyeing it would hurt it, but she wouldn't believe her. Pink suited everything about her, from her glossy nails to her long lashes; pink was her identity: a lost girl, a punk.

She thought back, as she always did this time of night, to her old days in Shibuya. She had never had anyone to hang out with at that time in her life, she had spent all her time in the city, making cheap deals and slumming around. In that life she was covered in the filth of her own immorality in that dirty place. She had often toyed with the relationships of others, manipulating them for her own gain. She pilfered grown men like popcorn, sold porn to hustlers. She used the internet on her phone for all her misdeeds. In that life she had doffed a personality which fit her. Abusing people like her father had mentally done to her before.

Her father had used to take her to the gambling dens to count cards, and she would tug on his coat when the number came up. Aces of spades, queen of hearts, she knew them all down the line, like the dice numbers and roulette balls and how they turned in their rows. She was only seven at the time but proclaimed gifted and talented. Her brilliance would eventually isolate her from the rest of her class and school. Eventually her father's sordid tale became too sad when he owed everyone in town. She had then gone to live with her mother, who found another partner who disliked her arrogance.

The last beating she took was when she was exiled from their apartment, and the slash across her cheek from the ring on his index finger stung her a thousand times worse than she could ever imagine. Her father-in-law thought he was a player, but Matsuri told him just how tough he was, robbing his safe before never coming back.

It was at that moment when her mother gave up on her for good.

If she hadn't met Yuzu again after all these years, randomly connecting with her after seeing the contact in her phone, there's no telling what or where she would be. On the streets most likely, in wild desperation in her hatred of the world. A prostitute maybe, selling plagiarized goods at the market. Forgotten and dirty.

The destruction of her parent's marriage had severed her from herself, left her in a state of disarray. Yuzu was like an angel who had guided her away from that life forever. She would never tell anybody, but she worshipped Yuzu. She loved her like a family member.

She brushed in long strokes down to the tips of her curls with her big panda-bear brush and smiled prettily into the mirror. The shower she had just taken had been long and hot, making her body pour beads of sweat. She wore gym shorts and a white t, a street graffiti design on the front. She reminisced over the past year, with her new friends at her new school. She hadn't gotten along well in her old school, and she thought that dealing with women every day wasn't so bad. Nene's impish smile, Yuzu's heartbroken sighs, Harumi's weirdness. She had traded bullies for actual friends, and it felt good to win in life for once.

Hanging out with her friends healed her. She loved them all on a personal level and without them, she would be nothing, she knew it.

She had started out a year ago wanting Yuzu as a lover, lusting after her long blonde curls which would've gone so well with her pink ones. They would've been like a set then, two very cute women. She didn't know why she liked to collect people like she did, like they were dolls, but she liked having a rotary of personalities. She acquired people like things because she needed all she could get her hands on. She had no family and almost no resources. All the things she had ever believed in anywhere else were in a dumpster outside her mother's apartment. It was the child in her that needed love.

Matsuri had an older sister crush going on with Yuzu, wanting her happy sensibility and positive outlook. Yuzu had good family values which Matsuri couldn't reciprocate. Her body was luscious to top it off, taller and curves to poke at

She had a baby-sitter crush on Yuzu after all the times she'd looked after her when she was a child, and Matsuri desperately wanted a chance to be a child again. After the long years she'd suffered, she would find happiness.

When meeting up at school, for lunch, a snack at a burger joint, they'd all say hello and talk catty. They made fun of students and teachers, the weird things they did. Each day was a gift, she loved squeezing Harumi's body as a joke, her breasts, her legs, slapping her, tickling her. She never let on that she had a secret crush on her. Something inside her had transitioned to an all-girls' school seamlessly. Her life had changed, she hadn't counted all that would change with it. She had worked her ass off to make it into this prep school because it was the first thing she ever really wanted. Besides of course the blonde, who she now couldn't have.

When Yuzu showed up at school the day after Mei had left her, she had big dark lines under her eyes and a swollen face from crying. She was like a big, shaggy dog who smelled from being outside for too long. She was like a disgruntled, furry pet who ran off from home, and lived on snacks and bones for many months at a time. You could smell the despair on her.

Even Matsuri, who had felt like she could be in love with Yuzu, had despaired at the change. A devastated Matsuri had opined her status as normal, while Mei in her lofty status ignored Yuzu's affectionate, impulsive love. If the wealthy, like the Aiharas, could simply avoid something so wonderful as love because of their status, what was a girl like Matsuri to them? Loved ones who one could depend on were all that mattered to Matsuri. Divorce had taught her this much. Instead, she was forced to watch Yuzu wilt like a broken flower in the rain. She watched as her friend get torn apart by the pain and anguish of losing her first great love.

Matsuri sometimes imagined herself as a sad old matriarch in some bordello somewhere. That was as much as she could have hoped for two years ago. She would have been in the care of the state if her parents hadn't feared the law. Yuzu changed the calculus of everything. To at last give up something so precious, felt like what her parents had put her through. Himeko had remarked upon the utter cruelty of Mei to Yuzu. The Aiharas were a brand label for treachery, and Mei played her part.

Himeko had been let down by Mei's willing self destruction. She could tell the awful change when it had happened, Mei had, "Broken inside," and barely talked to her anymore. The cuteness and light that had rung there had gone out like black smoke. A porcelain figurine smashed on the ground.

Matsuri brushed longingly, straining to pull out and straighten any nits in her hair before school tomorrow. Yuzu's attitude over the past eight months had made Matsuri feel vulnerable, even destructible. Yuzu was like her sister now, a washed-out sponge who was her sister. All because of money.

The day it had happened, Yuzu had run out of the classroom in tears, Harumi told her later. Matsuri didn't want to bother her after school, not knowing how serious it was. She couldn't step out of her shoes and be lovey-dovey and console her, either. Matsuri didn't have that motherly instinct in her. Yuzu didn't come to class for three days after. When she did return, she had no discernible style or fashion in her hair and stopped wearing makeup. A light had gone out.

The big, frittering blonde went from being a soft puppy dog who one might play with, to a sad, mopey rag. Her curls were all lifeless, hanging down her shoulders in leathery tendrils. She hid the truth from Harumi, but everyone knew something was off.

It was bedtime now, Matsuri shuffled off to the domain of stars and silver. The night would leave only some dark Van Gogh plain mountains and wheat fields. Her Starry Night would rest.

She gasped into the mirror looking at her eyes, they were the devil's. Thinking of Mei had made her angry all over again. She felt alone. School cured her ills, but these days it felt like she had fallen into a hole with Yuzu. She hated coming home to nobody, it wasn't any way to live, this giant, cold place her mother paid for. What was she going to do when Yuzu and Harumi graduated? What would become of her? She loathed to think all her time would be spent with Nene. What would Nene do without Yuzu and Harumi?

"Lame," she booed at the mirror. She got up to go to bed. She hated nights like this, dark, silent and purposeless. Lucky Yuzu got to sleep in a big bed with her sexy, seducing step-sister—somehow without her mom noticing it. Ume was nice, but she could be oblivious at times.

Matsuri lived alone. She put her brush down on her desk and reached for a hair clip. "Ugh," she said, as she searched among the milieu of knickknacks in her desk drawer. She rambled upon the one she wanted. She lurched out of her chair and into bed, pushing her covers aside. She immediately reached for her crotch, instinctually feeling alone and needy. She wanted to feel warmer, not be alone in this place that always felt like it was encroaching upon her. She was tired of this drama that affected her as much it did her friend. "Stupid women, I swear." She didn't know how to fall asleep in this place without getting totally miserable.

"Haru…" she whispered to herself, as she groped at her groin. Harumi was so stupid not to ask what was wrong with Yuzu. Matsuri got tired of having to constantly cheer up the blonde by herself. Without Yuzu's genial attitude in the group, Harumi was lost. Matsuri was tired of that withered look.

Harumi interested Matsuri, she constantly wondered if she was a straight gyaru bitch or a controlling lesbian. She never opened about who she really was, so Matsuri couldn't tell. The taller girl was hard to read, always hiding some part of herself. In the old days, Matsuri could've imagined Harumi showing up at a bordello with sunglasses and a big coat, asking to see one of the girls. It would of course be Matsuri, in pink fuzzy lingerie. "How are you doing, sweetums? What can mama get for you today?" rubbing her butt intermediately, "Wanna' lick my feet?"

That was kind of hot, thought Matsuri, and funny. Matsuri constantly tried to show her interest without drawing the obvious connection to Harumi. Teasing and touching her, trying to open the impenetrable wall of silence. She knew she was hiding something, and Harumi was always annoyed by the stuff Matsuri did to her. Grabbing and squeezing, rubbing and jolting, but Harumi would always just look straight ahead nonplussed, every time. Those dead fisheyes.

Matsuri reached down between her legs, rubbing over her clothes. Not getting close, mostly trying to get to sleep. It was cold out tonight and the covers felt good. She started to get a little wet, but she didn't want to go far tonight, only comfortable and warm. She didn't want to be cold in a place like this, ever.

Why did Harumi have to always act like such a stranger? Like she couldn't be comfortable no matter who she was with. 'Ahhhh, so stupid, so stupid' she thought. It was predictable, the stupid game. Yuzu falls in love and then apart, Harumi won't talk to her about it, and she's all alone with Nene with Harumi on a mental vacation. Speak up, girl!

She didn't want her friend to hurt anymore, she wanted her to be happy. Mei had ruined what fun she could have had with her friend. Yuzu had probably changed Mei like she had changed her, and Mei had dumped ice water onto that. Mei's betrayal was like a betrayal of everything Matsuri had worked to become since her childhood days. She had betrayed the best friend Matsuri ever had, and herself as she was; she had betrayed friendship, love and compassion, the warm glow Matsuri would have given anything for.

She would sleep for tomorrow, and then she'd see Haru and Nene again, and perhaps Yuzu would tag along, in her mopey, sad puppy-dog way.

Matsuri drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face. She had been rubbing herself to feel good and she felt warm. She drifted off to the stratosphere, dreaming of ponies, dragons and a bitch named Mei, who haunted her every night now. The dark-haired one breathed fire and had a severe look in her eyes. Matsuri was a knight in shining armor. She pulled out her sword and slayed the Mei-like dragon. Yuzu was the damsel in distress, wearing a white frilly cotton dress and a strange headpiece headpiece, some medieval outfit she had learned about in Classic Lit class. Yuzu immediately went to hug her knight in shining armor, gave her a kiss on the cheek. They then joined her accomplices Harumi, Nene, and some other students from her class, who were all knights. They three friends lead in front, waltzing to the arcade together, hand in hand.

"Fucking Mei." Matsuri snored and fell to sleep, dreaming of strangling that two-timing bitch.


	2. Chapter 2

Harumi was looking through her dresser cabinet for her favorite hair pin, disgruntled at the way nothing could ever stay organized in her room. "What a mess, I should organize all of this!" She stressed, looking through all the loose objects that a girl keeps around in her main desk drawer, doodads and other colorful little things. There were scrunchies, keychains, and streamers, perhaps from elementary school. 'God,' she thought, I should throw some of this stuff away. "What a mess. Ugh." She painted her nails that morning and was afraid of doing damage by scratching or chipping anything. She was getting desperate and wanted the thing she was looking for. Being late was not acceptable at school, and the thing should've been easy enough to find. Luckily, the two internal minds of dreariness and tiredness of that morning came together, and her eyes finally noticed what she was looking for. "Her you are," and she pulled it up with a claw like grip. Today would go smoothly now with her lucky hair clip with the leopard print that deviously hid in her bun.

She tied her hair up into one big knot. She didn't like going to school messy like Matsuri, or Yuzu these days, who was so hang dog she was barely there. It was good to show a little fashion, even in a girls' school. She dressed very neatly in her uniform, and she looked everything over in the mirror before realizing she was ready to go. She walked out into the hallway and saw where her sister had left her door open after heading off to work. Her TV was still on, with some wonky yoga program where the ladies were doing planks and sit-ups. Harumi quickly walked in to shut it off and put Mitsuko's yoga mat away. Her parents hated it when her older sister left a mess in the morning. Maybe she was late.

On top of her sister's dresser, she suddenly noticed a picture of both her and her friend Kayo. Mitsuko had her arm around Kayo's shoulder and a smile with a peace sign. The long arm was draped around her shoulder, normal, but something was just a bit off. It was uncharacteristic of her controlling sister to be so chummy in the first place. Harumi had no idea her sister was this close with Kayo, a former classmate on the student council. She didn't doubt her sociability around her, since Mitsuko had always been a very loving sister. But Mistuko was also known for never acting friendly. Kayo had her glasses on, it must have been during summer break, it was at a beach she knew that was close. Grey skies and big clouds made the image very clear. They both had bathing suits on and zip-on sweatshirts over their shoulders, which surprisingly were matching greys with blue athletic logos. The sweatshirts looked new. Both had grins on their faces, but there was a detachment to the veneer.

'That's weird,' Harumi thought, 'When did Mitsuko have time to go to the beach? And with Kayo?' Her sister was usually so taciturn that she barely even said hello to classmate or strangers. It was practically a wild side of her sister that she had barely known. Harumi thought of the moment when her sister had angrily slapped a note pad out of a girl's hands when they were both still at school, Mistuko being student council president. Her sister longed to control and manipulate people, but she did her best to avoid her when necessary. 'Buddies' and friends had never been her deal. It was progress, but still there was something.

She stuffed her sister's yoga mat into the closet and noticed one of her coats leaking out with a piece of paper hanging out. Harumi couldn't help snooping and tore the letter out immediately. Her curiosity was burning. She couldn't ever reconcile the masterful sister at school with her friend at home and was sniffing an obvious trail right now. There was a big red lip stain on the bottom of the page that stood out, a kiss from a lover. Today was the day she would reinvent her sister.

"Dear Mitsuko,

It was wonderful to see you after all this time. Do you remember the days we spent in student council? You used to barely act like I was there. It felt good to feel you embrace me last Sunday. Your hug was nice. You kissed me on my bare neck and it felt A-MA-ZING. (;

I know your family responsibilities stress you out. Your mom has been stressing about a partner, so don't let this letter fall into the wrong hands. I wanted to write this all out because I knew you were busy at work in Kyoto and wouldn't have time to see me for a few weeks. Your kiss meant everything to me. Hanging out with you again, and finding out that you loved me, scared me. I've always been scared of you. But I always had a crush on you too. You've acknowledged me again, and I'm so proud of you for showing your interest in me.

I thought about you a lot after we graduated, I even took pictures of you in your gown and saved them in my phone. They were my treasure. When you contacted me on Facebook, and suddenly we were meeting again, it brought a warm feeling to my chest.

I ache to call you a lover, because that is what I want to be. I long to see you again,

My love,

The seasons will change soon, and it will be warm enough to go to that beach again, where you held me so tight and kissed me for the very first time. Please keep working hard and focus on your career, catching my attention after you graduated took bravery. Please, don't feel bad for not mentioning it when we were both still in school. I long for you to crane your long neck to my level, and to feel your lips upon mine,

When I meet you again, I might not be able to control myself.

But I will wait, like always, because you are so worth it.

Hoping to be your close lover soon,

Kayo."

Harumi had a look of express regret and remorse. Reading this secret letter had just changed her life, and she couldn't begin to guess how much. She had always suspected her sister was different in a controlling way, a mastermind even. But girls? Liking other girls? She put her head down and sobbed, the letter was utterly gorgeous and heartfelt. It was like graduation day all over again, with girls explaining their feelings to each other in secret nooks of the hallway, caught amongst the shadows. Secret affairs being explained, loves and adorations. Harumi thought of the arranged marriage she knew her mother was planning for Mitsuko. This letter was light a death stare. The lipstick kiss at the end was a huge hint, her sister was likely in love. Was she caught in a snare? Was it honest? She couldn't have ever imagined this.

Just then her mother called out to her from below, down in the kitchen next to the bottom of the stairs in their house, "Harumi, you'll be late!" Harumi's eyes shocked open, she looked down at her watch and realized the time. Forty-five minutes until school. "Crap." She breathed in, and exclaimed, "OK!" She waltzed out of the room, her feet had fallen asleep in her dread. This was crazy, and she was having a tough time breathing at all.

Just then she realized she still had the letter in her hands! She was sweating over it profusely, like her world had broken. She folded it up rudely, not thinking of the new creases she was leaving over the original folds, "Crap. Shit crap." She didn't want her sister to know she knew about everything. She carefully undid her idiotic, stream of consciousness emergency strains against the words in her hand and rolled it back out flat on the desk with her palm. She tried not to smear the words and handle it at the corners. She refolded it as nicely as possible—bit of a bull in a china shop with her clumsy hands though. She stuffed it all back into the jacket with a huff and rushed downstairs. The utter romance of the letter had left her confused. Kayo had written such beautiful language to her sister who was a woman, that she was having a challenging time walking. She didn't wonder that Mitsuko had likely through the same—they were sisters after all, and both women, with obvious things that still got to both of them. If it had affected her like this, then there was no wonder how the letter had become stained and held onto for an entire year. Harumi stooped to collect her bento and umbrella. "They said it might rain later!" chortled her mother, waking Harumi out of her daze. "Alright," replied Harumi sheepishly, making her mother eye her suspiciously, and hurried out towards the station.

It was windy and sunny. She would have enough time if she hurried.


	3. Chapter 3

Harumi bad for going through her sister's things. She checked her watch and realized she would be on time and exhaled. Suddenly she felt two small hands reach around her hips and poke her in the stomach from behind. She was immediately awkward and surprised, and jumped at the sensation. "Matsuri! What have I told you, you pervert!?" She barely held onto the rubber sloop and almost lost her balance on the train.

She whirled around and saw the pink hair and big bubble of gum, "I've told you time and again!" She licked her index finger and gave Matsuri a wet willy. Matsuri groaned at the sensation. "Agh, sorry big-sis, I promise I won't do it again, aghhh." Harumi pulled out her finger. Matsuri was wincing. Now Harumi felt bad, the girl was smaller than her anyways. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" she asked. Matsuri had a little tear in her eye, "Yeah, you just surprised me." The cute little of the innocent school girl was gone, replaced by a knowing, warm smile. There was a period of silence between them. Matsuri grabbed onto a handle bar. They both blushed for getting out of control on the public train. "I'm sorry, Matsuri."

"No, I'm sorry."

Harumi looked straight ahead, feeling more tired than she even had before. Matsuri looked up to her and noticed a grave concern. "What?" Matsuri asked. Harumi sighed, not wanting to talk about it.

Harumi was Matsuri's big friendly, velvet cobra, her comfy plush toy she could hug and hold onto whenever she needed it. She would give the most hilarious reactions with the right tease, but now she was worried. She had come to know Harumi dearly in the time since Yuzu had been away.

Matsuri faintly hugged Harumi around the waist in as playful a way as possible, but very lightly and delicately this time, warmly even, "Haru, what is it? What happened?" Harumi touched Matsuri's hand softly, looking away outside the window. Matsuri had a curious look on her face. The train bumped along as usual on their morning commute and all the bodies swayed at once to a single direction. Matsuri hugged more tightly. Harumi felt the pressure on her waist. She sighed, almost cooing. She hadn't expected that reaction from herself this morning, or ever in the presence of Matsuri, and felt very weird. Matsuri always cuddled her midsection, this was nothing unusual. She suddenly felt very sad.

"Dumb conductor," Matsuri said, whispering up to Harumi. Harumi blushed, feeling the sentiment was almost erotic. She felt embarrassed. She looked around at all the people and felt off from her usual routine. Luckily, no one had noticed the exchange. Perhaps it was all in her mind? Then again, the train passengers were probably used to seeing this. Didn't they all feel some kind of shame watching these two girls cuddle every morning?

Matsuri looked up to Harumi and felt lonely. She hugged a little tighter, and Harumi felt like she wanted to cry. She looked out of the window at the usual scenery, pondering the gorgeous world and this beautiful day. They arrived at school, in that same way together. Somehow, they were linked at the core, and this feeling that was in a way refreshing wouldn't go away.

When Matsuri tugged away to get off the train, Harumi felt a wistfulness.


	4. Chapter 4

Harumi sat in her seat at school. She felt dazed. Yuzu was in the corner, brooding to herself as always. Harumi wouldn't have to deal with the little underclassman toddler Matsuri anymore today until lunch or the end of school. Yuzu was just staring through the window, wishing seemingly to get away from it all. For once, Harumi understood how she felt. Yuzu's curls fell off her back as if they had been murdered and bundled into a bag.

Yuzu was wearing her usual uniform but had black sox on. Harumi now wondered if there had always been something between them, something that she might have jumped on if she had had these confusing feelings earlier. Those socks were probably regulation, but nobody seemed to care. Even the teacher had noticed the change and decided to give Yuzu her space. Nobody called on her unless she seemed into it anymore, and those days were fewer and fewer. There was a general level of concern about her wellbeing, but typically Japanese, they gave her a requisite amount of space to get over it. After all, she was an Aihara and related to the student council president.

Classes were boring today. Harumi wanted to get out of this anguish she felt deep down. The feelings were whirling, so confusing and so filled with dread. She couldn't get her sister's change out of her mind. All was suspect, every student, even herself.

She sweated, getting more nervous without noticing it through the day. Her palms were unusually sweaty.

Lunch passed by without much of a word to Matsuri. She could tell something was off and the silence just built.

After the bell let out at the end of the day, Harumi walked up to Yuzu and asked her if she wanted to hang out. Luckily for her, in her mid-lesbian psychosis from her sisters' entirely crazy letter from her girlfriend, Yuzu obliged. Yuzu seemed down in the dumps as usual but was going to soldier on this time. The swollen face and basic falling apart were hard to describe, but still there. Harumi needed her more than anything today, and straight up hugged her, surprising Yuzu.

"Hey Harumi," she tried to say sweetly, "What's with the affection?"

"I'm just super happy you're coming with us today," Harumi replied. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah…" said Yuzu, not looking at all the other students as if they were ghosts, looking through them as usual. She hadn't said a word in school to anyone but her, Matsuri or Nene for so long. It was like her step-sister wasn't even there.

"Let's go get burgers today," said Harumi.

"Okay, something light," responded Yuzu.


	5. Chapter 5

Today was a McDonalds day for the group. Or as Matsuri's friends called it, Mac-Donalds, or Mook-Donalds, usually a play on the funny name that sounded so English. Matsuri knew she had to study today but she always loathed to go home. That empty place. She looked over at Harumi as the four were walking towards the entrance of the restaurant. She seemed really bored today, and that got Matsuri down. She liked to inject a little excitement into Harumi's world. 'Let's see, what was the last thing I did?' she wondered. She had pulled on her skirt, tugged her hair, jabbed her in the side, tickled her stomach... Harumi was like a big, aggressive plush-toy, a monolithic figure who would revolt if you grabbed too much but affectionate if you grabbed just enough. She thought she was so serious but Matsuri knew better. 'She's just the type to get easily rattled', she thought.

Matsuri was so bored by her classes, today was the day she would pick a big fight with her dream-lover Harumi. Today was the day she would go too far and confuse every inner part of her. Today was the day she was going to do something outrageous to Harumi that she hadn't done before. She'd been slobbering at the chance to try it but was too afraid. Since Harumi had been in the clouds all day staring off into nowhere, Matsuri wasn't going to go home without some wanted attention.

The pink haired girl tiptoed and sneaked up behind Harumi for a few steps behind her, and slowly but surely reached her hand out. She took her index, thumb and middle finger and pinched Harumi on the butt, twisting as she did it.

The rage was almost apoplectic. Harumi expected to turn around and see a man but when she found out it was Matsuri she almost cried. She blushed deeply, and slapped Matsuri in the face. Matsuri was surprised and immediately felt ashamed. "What in the fuck, Matsuri!" Harumi had true rage in her eyes, and the stinging in Matsuri's face stung hard. "Sorry," said Matsuri. "What are you thinking about, we're not little kids, there are boundaries." Truly, Harumi had been awoken from the slumber of herself, but the way Matsuri had shocked her out of it felt unfair. The shock was still rising through her. Yuzu put her hand on her shoulder, "What did Matsuri do?" she asked.

"Nothing, let's go inside."

Matsuri stood outside the McDonalds, still feeling the shame and anger. 'I just want to know what's going on with you', she thought. She kicked herself, she really was a dumb brat sometimes and had gone over the line.

She walked inside the restaurant finally to follow everyone. She sat down on the edge of the opposite side of Harumi and Yuzu, and tried to be respectful and quiet, not feeling as sociable anymore.

"Maybe I just need some time alone," said Harumi, responding to something question Yuzu had said. Nene was looking happy with her two favorite sempais.

"Come on, Harumi!" said Yuzu. "I need you today! Don't be a spoilsport, alright?" Yuzu's sweet voice and callings always got to Harumi, Matsuri rolled her eyes. Harumi reconsidered, and apparently decided to stay "Alright," she said in a huff, avoiding eye contact with Matsuri. Yuzu smiled at her.

Their fries and cokes arrived, sitting in their favorite booth by the window with a good skyline. Nene started devouring the fries, having fun watching her favorite sempais and how their bodies interacted in close space. She was in her happy place right now. The sempai's boobs and hips were touching exquisitely. She dabbed a ton of fries in ketchup while the other three girls politely picked at one here or there.

"So, what's on your mind, Harumi?" asked Yuzu. Usually she was quiet and withdrawn after school, so Harumi didn't want to waste this opportunity.

"Uhhhh…. You guys, you don't have siblings, right?" Nene raised her little hand with ketchup still on her face, "I have a little sister! Her name is Midori!" Everyone stared at Nene for a bit, "I didn't know that," said Matsuri, Nene was always full of surprises. "We should come over and meet her some time!" said Yuzu. Everyone perked up at the information about Nene, "Nah, you guys would scare her. You're all mature sempais to her, except Matsuri. Well, maybe she'd like it. She usually draws little Pokémon after school so maybe she could draw you guys. Make some art for me."

"Sure," said Yuzu and Matsuri. Nene continued to have an excited look on her face and enjoyed the conversation. Mac-Donalds days were always the best, the grease, the sugary ketchup, the salt, crisp potatoes, it made her eyes gleam with calm and punch-drunk which would make studying much more difficult later, but she didn't care. Friends and fries were the best, how could she be so lucky?

"Well," started Harumi again, "It's just that my sister, you guys know Kayo, right?" Everyone nodded, except Nene. "She's a student council member who was technically Mei's sempai," said Yuzu. "Right, Kayo, with glasses and short hair," replied Nene.

"Right," chimed in Yuzu.

"Well…she and my sister are close. Really close. Actually…" She trailed off and looked uncomfortable. Yuzu put her arm around her shoulder. "C'mon." Harumi looked back from her lap in reply, she was trying to step out of her daze from her sister and then Matsuri. Matsuri herself looked very anxious to know what was going on and felt concerned. "My sister's working in Tokyo now and I guess her, and Kayo meet often, but apparently they went on a vacation together recently."

"Oh, that's cool!" said Yuzu. "Yeah, cool. But she also wrote a letter to my sister that I found this morning. You guys won't tell anyone, right?" Harumi implored. Everyone smiled back at her reassuringly. Matsuri was doing her best to act mature. Harumi let out a sigh, "It was a love letter. From Kayo. And it was very explicit." Everyone's minds were blown, and they fell into a melancholy. Harumi looked straight back at Matsuri, seeking deep within her eyes. Matsuri blushed and turned away.

"I don't know if my sister is a lesbian, or if this is a casual fling, but the letter was very passionate. Nene took for granted that at an all girls' school, it was usual, "How does that make you feel, Harumi?"

"I don't know," she put her head into her interlocked arms. "I feel like I don't know about anything anymore." She looked depressed. Matsuri felt like she wanted to hold her, and it felt terrible to her now knowing what she had done. Why was she such an idiot snob who would cause her friend pain?

"If you're not sure, Harumi, you should be careful," said Yuzu, "Don't accuse her of anything." Harumi looked at Yuzu in a mysterious way, confused how she could have been unclear, then looked away. "There's one other thing about the letter that I didn't mention." Everybody perked up, since additional information that might push the situation to a higher level seemed impossible and inevitable. What could it be after the revelation about the love letter? Everyone squeezed in to hear Harumi and she could barely breathe.

"There was a big red kiss with lipstick after the signature," blurted Harumi worryingly, embarrassed completely by the fact that she had told everyone, and they were all metaphorically slapping their faces now. Everyone grew awkward except for Nene, who was excited. It was assured, now: Harumi's sister and Kayo were in a relationship, and a Yuzu-Haru pairing was only a step away. They all fell back into their seats looking exhausted.

"What do you think about all of that, Harumi?" asked Matsuri. Harumi looked straight at Matsuri, raising her eyebrows and expecting her cynical response. To her surprise, Matsuri looked normal. Not knowing how to respond, Harumi coughed and answered, "I'm not sure, guys. I've never thought about my sister's love life and I don't want to get too deeply involved, either. I obviously wish I hadn't picked up the letter. I goofed for sure."

Matsuri furrowed her brows. Harumi was running from the question, but she didn't want to invade her personal space. "Are you going to ask her about it? Like, is she in love? Is she straight? Surely your sister should get a chance to respond."

"Of course not, I only saw the letter by chance when I was cleaning up her room for her this morning. If she's a… you know, a les—" she quickly looked over at Yuzu for a reason she couldn't sense. The depressed blonde had sunk deep into her seat and sat looking outside the window. "Yuzu—" but before she could finish, Matsuri had grabbed her wrist. Matsuri silently shook her head while glancing at Yuzu. Harumi felt exasperated. She didn't understand Yuzu's actions at all these days.

She turned around and finished her statement to Matsuri and Nene in general, "If she's a, you know, a L-E-Z, then..." Harumi wasn't sure why she was whispering but she was, "Then, I don't care. My parents could still try to force her into an arranged marriage at a shotgun wedding though." She looked back at Yuzu who was twirling her hair and looking out the window like she didn't care. There was something about this conversation Yuzu didn't like.

"I know what you mean, Harumi. Can't trust a L-E-Z." Harumi looked shocked, Matsuri was snickering and blushing, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, Haru?" Matsuri said it in a cute way and touched Harumi's sleeve of her uniform, feeling the material. Harumi blushed and nervously looked away, then back at Yuzu who was still lost in some image outside.

"I'm really not sure what to think, guys. I've always looked up to my sister and sempai. I don't know what to think about this and I'm a still shocked. If I didn't have friends to tell it to like I didn't before Yuzu joined school, I would be in existential crisis mode right now."

Nene nodded happily, sipping her coke, "It's okay Harumi, we know how it is. Maybe your sister is experimenting or going through the motions to learn about relationships right now? She has spent all her time in an all girls' school, after all. Maybe she feels indebted to her friend for always being there for her?" The sudden psychology advice out of nowhere surprised Matsuri, who looked over at Nene with an arched eyebrow of newfound respect. Matsuri concentrated back on Harumi. "It's up to your sister, right? You'll have to have the conversation when she realizes you read that letter." Harumi almost spit out her soda, "What? When is she—" Matsuri gave her a sly look. Harumi sighed, "Yeah…I guess you're right." The discussion was ended.

Everyone started to gather their things and head off towards home. They shuffled to the front of the Mac-Donalds and filed out one after the other, Yuzu lazily tagging behind, caught in a doldrum. Harumi felt lost at that moment, like she might wander her way home. Matsuri noticed how pained Harumi look and immediately noticed an opening for her to make up to the tall girl. She bravely swung her arms through Harumi's arms held pocketed in her jacket and looked up at the face of her friend with a keen eye, "Don't let it get you down. I'll hang out with you tonight until you go home." Matsuri smiled up at Harumi with genuine affection. Harumi almost got angry but decided against it, she needed Matsuri right now.

Yuzu trailed off in her usual wasted was, "I'm going home guys, say hi to your sister for me, Harumi." Everyone arched their eyebrow at that statement, and just figured she wasn't paying much attention. Matsuri knew there was nothing she could do for the blonde right now. Yuzu waved back, oblivious to their reactions, and they waved back. She walked off towards the station.

Harumi felt tired, she was tired of her friend not being all the way there. It was like a zombie going through the motions. She suspected there was little she could do for her, suspecting that it was deeply personal and if Yuzu wanted to say what it was, she would.

"Hey, you wanna' get a shake?" asked Matsuri. Usually Harumi would say no to this request, but today was different, avoiding home was her chief objective. "OK, Matty," she smiled down at Matsuri, struggling not to do something to her for pinching her earlier. Nene spoke up dreamily, "I'm going to go home and study, guys. Catch you later, okay?" Harumi and Matsu smiled warmly at Nene as she waved to them and went in a separate direction.

"Silly girl," said Matsuri, as she turned down a street, arms interlocked with Harumi. "What?" replied Harumi. "All that talk about psychology and stuff. You should just talk to your sister."

"I'd be embarrassed to."

"You're always embarrassed. Matsuri cutely tugged on Harumi's arm as they sauntered off into the evening. From the back, they could almost have been a couple. The two strode off together to get a treat.


	6. Chapter 6

The two girls ordered shakes at an outdoor, late night ice cream shop. They sat sucking them up through twizzled straws with red and white stripes. Matsuri thought they were cute, and Harumi didn't mind.

Harumi was still meditating on her home situation, and Matsuri felt bad for her. What could she do for her friend? Here she was boiling over with the whole fiasco with the letter, not knowing how she should regard her sister anymore.

"I'm sorry about pinching you on the butt," said Matsuri first, finally breaking the ice. Harumi just looked narrowly at her, "Why do you always do that stuff to me. Always teasing me, testing me." Matsuri narrowed her eyes back, and kicked the end of her foot up next to Harumi's knee, tapping it with her shoe, "Don't you know why?"

Harumi just rolled her eyes and looked in a different direction, avoiding the whole thing in an obvious show of denial. Matsuri hated how she could never get anything out of Harumi unless she was proactive, but if that's what it was going to take then she would do it. She decided to be bold and tap Harumi on the shoulder. The girl looked back her way, and Matsuri looked her straight in the face.

"Hey, Haru-miiiiiiiiin," she said in the cutest way possible, mimicking Yuzu. Harumi was shocked and spit out her ice cream. She laughed out loud and made a mess on the table in the grossest way. The two were always tense like this, with constant highs and lows. It annoyed Matsuri but it was fun. She always wanted to make more of a connection but couldn't jump across some theoretical wall Harumi had put up between them. A chasm of distance floated between them, teasing Matsuri about what could be and whether there was a future to their constant flirting.

"Knock it off Matsuri, geez." Harumi tried to sound disgruntled, but the pink haired girl had done an excellent job of knocking her out of her isolated meditation. "Don't let it get to you down too much, alright?" Matsuri tapped her on the bottom of the elbow, "Your sister might just be going through a phase you know?"

Harumi looked away, back to feeling sorry for herself. Matsuri nudged her with her toe, anguished and fed up now, "C'mon, don't feel bad, okay?" kicking her lightly, "It'll all work out, you'll see. Don't be afraid to go home. If you're that concerned, just ask her." Harumi looked down at her hands, contemplating the letter and Mitsuko and this morning. "What, are you afraid of having a L-E-Z in the house? Haha!" Matsuri laughed cheekily, and nudged Harumi a little more with her foot.

Harumi grunted in reply and balled her fist into her cheek. She lay desperately on the horizon between caring and not caring about what her sister would or wouldn't tell her. "I just never got that sign from her, is all." Matsuri looked genuinely interested by now. Her friend was talking again, and she always liked it when Harumi spoke her mind. "I never thought of her sexual orientation before," she said, "and I don't know how I feel about someone at school preying on my sister, especially all these years later."

"Preying…" Matsuri said the word out loud, emphasizing its strangeness in this case. She didn't like where this was going. "Harumi, is that what you think Kayo might be doing?"

Harumi looked steadily at Matsuri and she thought about her words carefully. She sheepishly decided she was off course. "OK, that wasn't the right thing to say, sorry. Preying sounds weird, like she might eat her." Matsuri's eyes got bigger, then she just looked away again. Harumi steadied her chin on her fist, "It's just…" she sighed a little, Matsuri looked with big wondering eyes, a bit speechless at what her friend might say next. It wasn't her usual style to confess and meander, "I love my sister, and I want her to be alright. I don't want…" Matsuri spoke up, "Like, if it's love. What then?"

Harumi looked bizarre and affected by this realization, "I don't want her to get hurt," and she left it at that. Matsuri was a bit stunned.

The pink haired girl reached up and caressed Harumi below the shoulder on her left arm, "Don't be afraid, if they like each other then there's nothing you or anybody can do about it." Matsuri subconsciously rubbed her hand but didn't notice. It seemed like the friendly thing to do.

Harumi retrained her focus on Matsuri, getting out of her daze for a second, noticing the rubbing. "You're always touching me," she flipped the hand away and giggled in a coy manner. It had taken so long just for Matsuri to get Harumi to this point, she was not the warmest person. Before, she was cold and distant-especially if Yuzu wasn't around. Matsuri was always afraid to approach her. She thought it was her antics when they had first met that had poisoned the well with Harumi, or just annoyed at her being an underclassman. She wanted the girl across from her to know that everything would be OK. She felt it deep within her that she had to do that. Matsuri genuinely wanted to be Harumi's other good friend besides Yuzu, she just wasn't as good with people.

She sometimes thought that in ways, Harumi and herself were similar: lonely, cold and disaffected, even conniving. Yet Harumi had something Matsuri lacked and wanted, more emotional control and personability for instance. Matsuri yearned to be accepted and deal with people in a closer way. Her brains and temperament got in the way of many friendships, but she was always ready to risk doing more for her friends. She was always willing to go a little further with Harumi, especially. Touching her subtly. She wanted to hug and tease her, because Harumi never said no, and that made her dear to her. Matsuri adored not Harumi's psychology and her body, she longed to pour her love into someone like Harumi. She would be damned before giving up on it being Harumi for real.

Before Matsuri had noticed, their shakes were gone. The two girls suddenly found themselves looking at each other eye to eye. Matsuri removed her grip from Harumi's arm and looked away. "Sorry. I know I get carried away. I like you, though. You're the only one who's always willing to put up with me. You're willing to hang out with me, and that means a lot." Harumi blushed, "Otherwise I'd be lonely."

Matsuri smiled happily which was rare for her. Harumi grasped Matsuri's hand, "It's okay, Matsuri. I would be lonely too, heck," Harumi rifled through her purse for something, "Yuzu is crazy! She's never here. I don't know what she does. Is it boyfriend trouble? Why can't she confide in me at least a little? It's like your best friend is dead to the entire world or something."

Matsuri knew she couldn't and blow Yuzu's cover. As much as Matsuri was jealous of the things Harumi could do, she couldn't believe her ignorance in love. It was cute but at the same time nauseatingly simple.

Matsuri couldn't tell Harumi that Yuzu liked girls or anything about Mei either. She couldn't even reveal the breakup. She suddenly remembered when Harumi swaddled her in her breasts after she found her crying. The night she learned that Mei would betray Yuzu. That bosom was warm. She looked over at Harumi, whose chest was heaving as she breathed. She looked down at hers and compared, flat as a pancake. 'Boy, if only I could catch up a little!' she thought.

She exhaled, "Gyarus."

"Hm?" asked Harumi. "Nothing," she replied, "Well, I guess you gotta' get home, right?"

"Yeah," she said warmly, touching Matsuri on the elbow, "thanks a lot for helping me today. You can be real mature when you put your mind to it. You're usually so spoiled." Matsuri almost got mad, but that comment alone was enough of a win to let it go. "Thanks, big boobs. I know I can always count on you guys." Harumi lowered her brows in anger, "Yeahhhh," and she got up from the table in a huff.

Matsuri suddenly thought to put her arm up around Harumi's back. As they walked together to a crossing, she reached up behind the taller girl. The massive warmth radiating from Harumi's body affected her, and Harumi blushed. "Don't worry about it, OK?" she said in a cheery way. Matsuri looked up into Harumi's lovely eyes. She was being a mature underclassman today for her friend.

Harumi strode ahead a little, breaking the brief connection, "Don't worry. If I ask her about it, then I'll worry. If I don't, then I don't. I'll just have to prepare myself for whatever comes my way." She winked and smiled back at Matsuri and waited for her to catch up. She put her hand on Matsuri's shoulder. "Thanks, kiddo. If you acted like tonight all the time, we'd be real buddies."

Matsuri blushed like a kid and they smiled at each other. Matsuri looked up into Harumi's eyes, "But you wouldn't have half the fun you did if I didn't always tease you and get your goat!" said Matsuri playfully. "Haha," laughed Harumi, "My goat is unattainable."

Matsuri huffed, "Okay. Bye then, Harumi!"

"Bye, Matsuri," Harumi said wistfully, knowing that now she would be confronting her sister. They waved at each other, Matsuri noting the sad ending note. They went their separate ways.

A couple meters from Matsuri, Harumi got a sudden chill walking towards the station. What was with Matsuri tonight? 'Growing up, I suppose', she thought to herself. Matsuri wasn't always like that, so affectionate, cute and warm. She was even empathetic. She could be a galling, subhuman monster, but tonight she was a friend. She always picked on Harumi's insecurities and it was endless and tiring. But tonight might have symbolized a change.

She picked a hair off her coat and noticed it was pink. 'Hm, little rascal', she thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Harumi walked in the front door of her family house, just in time to eat dinner judging from the smell of rice and stewed cabbage. She walked into the kitchen and saw her sister sitting at the table. She was munching on some rice caught between chopsticks. She was having a late meal after work. "Good evening, Harumi," she said in her usual peremptory tone. "Hi, sis," said Harumi, gulping nervously. "I made dinner, do you want some?" "No thanks," replied Harumi, before rushing to her room and not looking her sister in the eyes.

Harumi immediately pulled out her laptop and dove onto the net with her earbuds in, looking up the subjects she was interested in. She googled lesbians and lesbians in Japan. A lot of the news was bad, which made her mood turn dark. Her weird sister was driving her crazy. Matsuri was driving her crazy. Yuzu, Nene and all of them, everybody. It was like the entire world was crazy.

She felt exhausted and threw her ear buds away from her. Gay marriage wasn't legal in Japan and you would basically become a second-class citizen your whole life. She felt sorry for her sister. Just then there was a knock on the door, flashing quickly and rapidly. "Can I open the door?" asked her sister in a muffled voice. "Yes, of course," responded Harumi, feeling more embarrassed than ever and dreading what might be about to go down. Her sister had always got her way when they were growing up, and now it was like Mitsuko she was vulnerable to Harumi. She felt uncomfortable about the change.

"Thanks for putting away my gym mat this morning, I know I rushed off fast to get to work. I always forget. You weren't late to school, were you?" Her sister cast a glance over the things in her sister's room, finding nothing of note except a few messy manga and school papers. Her eyes stopped at the picture of her and Yuzu from a photo booth when they were both dressed as gyarus. Harumi knew her sister disliked gyaru fashion.

"Do you and Yuzu still hang out? I don't see her here as often these days," Mitsuko had an air of concern there. "She doesn't come over as much, but it's not because we're fighting or anything," she blushed, "Personal stuff," Harumi looked down and blushed a bit. "Oh," replied Mistuko, "I didn't mean to be nosy. You're just such good friends." "Yeah…" Harumi's focus wandered off.

"Ahem, well, I hope when you were looking through my room you didn't find anything of especial interest," Mitsuko said into her fist, eyes shut, clearly alluding to something or nothing. Harumi's eyes grew big, "Like a, uh…," Mitusko blushed deep scarlet, "I just want you to know that you shouldn't take anything out of context." She looked over Harumi's room again, feeling uncomfortable in a room she barely visited. With an ache of bravery, she walked in and closed the door. "You saw the letter, didn't you?" With a flash as the worst thing she'd imagined all day happened. "Please don't tell mom and dad, okay?" she asked desperately, hoping her sister wouldn't rat on her. "No, I would never!" blurted out Harumi. "Because you know, that's a personal matter, and it wouldn't be good to tell tales out of school unless things were settled or serious, and I decided to do it myself," Harumi felt very bad for putting her sister in this spot, "I would NEVER say anything about anything with Kayo—" this time her sister looked up with stunned eyes, this had confirmed it. "Yeah, just," she had a sad look and hung to a dresser, "please keep it to yourself, alright?" Harumi nodded, feeling so bad about putting her sister in this position and making her so uncomfortable. Her sister was a deep shade of crimson throughout her body, seeming unbalanced. She wanted to let her know it was alright. "Don't worry, Mitsuko, we're both girls… I wouldn't tattle on your private affairs any more than you would mine. There's a trust between us."

"No, of course you wouldn't, little sister." With the last of her strength, Mitsuko nodded at Harumi, smiling the best she could.

With that, Mitsuko opened the door to walk out. Just then Harumi thought of something, "Um, Mitsuko…" Her sister paused for a second in mid step, "Have you always… or is this the first time or a one-time thing?" Her sister simply grimaced at her, "Good night."

"Good night," Harumi whelped. She might have gone too far with that question, but she was feeling confused by her sister's actions and had worried about it all day. She was hoping for clarity about the situation but wasn't going to get it. She silently pouted and then felt curious again.

She plugged in her ear buds and kept googling. There were lots of naughty pictures between girls. Nude pictures and normal pictures of two girls hugging. She shrugged at the usual internet stuff, the porn and whatnot. She thought of Yuzu now, "Yuzu…," she breathed out loud. Again, she felt so sorry for her, not knowing why she thought of her in that moment. They had always teased each other a bit in their friendship, hugging and other shenanigans, but had never considered being more than friends.

She felt confused.

She had looked up to her sister since forever. And now the dominating, intelligent woman she always thought she knew had proved to be…? She pondered where she might have missed something and realized she would have to get up early tomorrow. She got ready for bed, putting on her PJs and brushing her teeth. She stowed herself under her covers with a huff. 'The world is crazy', she thought. Girls with girls, 'I suppose at an all girls' school, it could happen'. She just didn't expect it to happen to her sister of all people.

Why didn't she just go and find a guy and settle down? She would probably have arranged partner meetings soon set up by their parents. Couldn't she find a crush at work or something?

"Stupid… it's so stupid," she mumbled. Yuzu, and now Mitsuko, and even Matsuri were all acting so strange. She yearned for the good old days, she felt out of place. Maybe she would even have to start looking at Matsuri in a separate way, tightening her defenses. But she was just a friend, she thought to herself, what harm could come from that little pink haired girl?

Lots.

She turned over under her covers. Pointless to target somebody else for Mitsuko's rash actions with Kayo.

"Rascal," she said, shoving her face into her pillow and kicking her feet into the bed. "Dirty rascal." She dreamed of all the things Matsuri had always done to get her attention covertly. But there was a sister, motherly bond between them. She could always sense Matsuri's loneliness.

She faded off into a troubled sleep and dreamed of pink bubble gum and hair, nose bleeds, and stupid annoying friends. They were underclassmen, but they were still her friends. Yuzu always waited for the darker times at night, until her sleep could grow fretful. What was she doing? Harumi yearned for her original friend, and the confident person she used to be. In her subconscious of subconsciousness, she hoped against hope that it didn't have anything to do with Mei.


	8. Chapter 8

Four or five days passed, and the girls went back to school and homework. Matsuri had fun duping people in Tokyo, and the girls studied for exams. Sara and Nina went to meet Yuzu at her apartment, and Harumi watched as her best friend bravely came out to her. She loved Mei and always had. The next day was frayed with all kinds of hectic thoughts in Harumi's mind. She told Yuzu she loved her, but had relented at the last minute, accepting her defeat quietly. They were friends, she thought, very close friends. In a way she felt jealous for what Yuzu had experienced, being so close and sleeping with her lover daily. She had had no idea that Yuzu slept with the president of the school in the same bed every night—and they were dating. It put everything into a different context for her, the universe had changed, pink had turned to blue.

Step-sisters in love with each other, she couldn't even imagine. It was bizarre. Yuzu had even told her later in a text that she had come out to both her parents. The blonde was lucky her parents hadn't bitten her head off like Ozzy and the bat.

She thought back to the filthy Yuri manga Yuzu read around her and wished for simpler days. Her friend was in love and Harumi had no notion of how to cope. She had never considered this a possibility.

She kicked a pebble around outside, walking by herself after school. She thought to herself that it was all so stupid. The wind blew, a nice seasonal wind. Spring was coming, the air was bitter and crisp.

"Hey there, Harumi! Hey stranger!" It was Matsuri and Nene. "Hey guys, what's going on?" The shorter Matsuri held her hands behind her back and peered up at Harumi with a mischievous smile. "Watcha' doing out here all by yourself, team leader? Just looking at the sunset?" Matsuri said jovially, knowing Harumi wasn't going to be able to handle Yuzu and everything going on the same way she had. Harumi eyed her suspiciously, "Walking, that's all. No big deal."

Matsuri looked disappointed, she hated seeing her friend in this depressive state. "Did you talk to your sister, Harumi?" Matsuri said with genuine curiosity. "Yeah, I did."

"What'd she say," Matsuri said with honesty, "About the letter?"

"To keep out of her business, and not to tell anyone. Of course."

"That sucks! Haha." Matsuri laughed and covered her mouth, trying to play things as cool as possible. She knew how troublesome the whole night must have been for her, thinking of Harumi being embarrassed around her sister. Tip-toeing around somebody she thought she had known her whole life. "That's what you get for going through other people's things! Haha!"

Harumi rolled her eyes and kept walking at her usual pace. "Want to go to the arcade?" Matsuri pitched in.

"OK, fine, today I will. I don't feel like I want to think or dwell on things anymore."

"I'll see you guys later," said Nene tiredly, "I have to study. My mom says I hang out with trouble makers too much and freshmen have to qualify for second year."

"Okay Nene, we'll see you around!" said Matsuri a bit too excitedly, and Harumi barely noticed.

Harumi was quietly nervous to be alone with Matsuri. On one hand she didn't care because today sucked so bad. She needed a friend and she'd rather not think about home right now. "Ah, don't look down, Haruminn," said Matsuri sarcastically, squeezing her, "or the arcade's gonna' suck with a ghost there!"

Harumi rolled her eyes. Matsuri was always like this, she always had to get on her nerves. Couldn't they just get along for once? "Hey, Matsuri," she said.

"Yeah?" Matsuri replied, skipping happily like some child lost in a supermarket with her pink balloon.

"What would you think if I told you that Yuzu told me something interesting yesterday."

Matsuri briefly looked up at her, "Okay. What'd she say? Going on a diet again?"

Harumi had a suspicious look, why was she being so blasé? Usually she'd be curious. "You'll be surprised."

"Oh?" Matsuri feigned shock. Harumi grumbled. She thought for a second and decided to tell her anyways, "Yuzu told me that she's in love with Mei."

Matsuri's eyes widened. "Oh, OK. So, it seems you know now. I was there with Nene the other day and I saw everything."

"So, you heard us!?" Now Harumi was shocked. "No, I already knew." Harumi blustered, "What!? You did!? When!? Why!? You better speak up, Matsuri!"

Matsuri just looked over her shoulder, "There's a lot about me you don't know." Harumi raised an eyebrow, "I was there when they started to fall for each other. You were too, but Yuzu couldn't bear to tell you. She was afraid of what you'd say." Harumi looked disappointed.

They walked a little bit more, Matsuri with her hands behind her back, playing totally coy. "I wouldn't have been mad," said Harumi, pouting. Matsuri gave her a glance, "Of course not. But you know Yuzu, she's quite mysterious sometimes." Harumi looked off in another direction, trying to look uninterested. "When you said you were there, did you see something I didn't?" asked Harumi.

"I was… part of the reason they got together."

Harumi was silently stunned. "What happened?" Harumi was all concern and interest. The last couple of days had been full of surprises, she was hungry for more information.

Matsuri glanced back, "I don't want to say. It's private." Harumi looked suspiciously at Matsuri with heating anger, then shrugged her shoulders. What did she expect from the pink haired girl? "Well, it's all sown up now. I told her I loved her as a friend, and now we're going to try to get Mei back from some arranged marriage thing." She walked on, disinterested again.

"Yeah, I've already kind of started planning and stuff. We each have to help Yuzu in our own way from now on." Harumi looked a bit alarmed, "Fine, but don't go overboard, okay? I know you. You like to make mischief."

Matsuri laughed and walked on ahead. Harumi followed for a pace, then walked up behind her and put her arm around her shoulder. She rubbed the top of her head with her fist to give her a noogie. "Lil' Matsuri, making plans," sang Harumi.

Matsuri blushed. She looked up at Harumi and got lost in her eyes. She put her hands around Harumi's arms and elbows. She stood mute, gazing at Harumi. "What? Haha," said Harumi nervously.

"Harumin, can I ask you a question?" The tall girl was disarmed by the sincere tone, "Uh, sure!" She winked embarrassingly. It had taken a long time to get along with the pink devil. She did strange, random things, it was her business to play with people's minds. She had seen the internet posts on Matsuri's phone, catfishing guys with classmates' faces. She was afraid of her power to get what she wanted.

"Is there anyone…" she stammered, "that you like, maybe?" Matsuri touched her index finger to her lip looking dreamily at Harumi. "You know, are you crushing on anyone?" The taller girl blushed, "No, of course not. Why are you asking? Is there somebody you like?" Harumi tried to turn the tables. Matsuri sighed, "I guess not." Matsuri started walking away. Harumi easily kept pace with her long legs. "Did what Yuzu told you impress you at all, Harumi?"

She thought about it, lifting some hair off her forehead, "Yeah, I mean she's my best friend. If she likes girls she's still going to be my friend. What a shock! The student president, her step sister!" Matsuri barely looked back. "I mean, I was stunned. I'm still getting over it." Harumi sweated, feeling uncomfortable with the entire ordeal.

Matsuri grabbed her arm nervously, "Do you want to hear something else impressive, Harumi?"

Harumi looked on impassively, "OK, go ahead. All I hear these days are impressive things. I'm finding more impressive things every day," she affected a laugh. Matsuri quietly shook in her boots, either from the wind and cold or lack of confidence, but it disturbed Harumi. "You know how Nene is always shipping you and Yuzu?"

Harumi laughed out loud, "Yeah, she's a funny one, alright. What can you do? It makes me mad but it's okay since she's a nice girl and she likes her sempais," she giggled.

"Yeah, haha…" Matsuri trailed off, coughed, and regained her stamina, "Well," Matsuri cleared her throat, "I'm afraid she's not the only one." Harumi felt a tenseness in her shoulders building up from her lower back. She felt like she was stuck in one place. "I transferred to this school not just because Yuzu was my friend, but because I thought I wanted to start a relationship with her."

Harumi felt frozen in the face of too much new information. "But don't worry, I gave up on that a long time ago. She's my friend and I support her 100%, that's why I suggested that summer trip, I was even trying to get them together."

Harumi itched her arm and looked a little sad. What could she say about it?

"Matsu—" "No, Harumi, it's fine. I bet you didn't expect to be hanging out with a bunch of queer girl lovers in your life, huh?" Matsuri looked back at her with a tear, looking queasy. "I know you've always suspected me, you thought I was a troublemaker. I promise I'm not trying to sabotage Yuzu. I love her, now more than ever as one of my very best friends. Just like you. She's been sisterly to me nearly my whole life. It was more like I was trying to find a lost connection with her."

Harumi felt speechless. She smiled at Matsuri, then her brain started to work again, "Don't cry, Matsuri, there's no reason to cry, it's alright." Harumi put her arm around Matsuri's shoulder. The pink haired girl's eyes were welling with tears. Matsuri looked uneasy, she glanced quickly to the side at Harumi's lips. "Um, Harumi…" she choked.

"Yeah?"

"Are we still friends?"

"Whaat!?" the taller girl replied, "Of course, Matsuri!" Her hand was still on her shoulder, tenderly rubbing her subconsciously. The feel of Harumi's hand caressing her was driving Matsuri crazy. She thought she would burst. "Even though I told you all that?" she said weakly. "Duhh, ye-es!" Harumi was surprised by how vulnerable Matsuri was right now. She never conceived of judging anyone for being a… 'L-E-Z', she thought, and realized how the previous conversation at McDonalds had made her friend uncomfortable around her and admitting to all of this.

She remembered her sister and how awkward it had made her in her own sister's presence. Why did the world have to be like this? Why did people have to run and hide like this?

"Would you…" Matsuri coughed back the welling of tears in her eyes, "would you… hug me?" Matsuri's face was a mess of stormy emotions, and Harumi's motherly tendencies lay in the back of her mind. Harumi looked Matsuri in the eyes, searching her feelings and thoughts. She didn't know what to do, she was trembling, but for what reason she couldn't conceive. "Matsuri what are you—"

"Harumi, please," Matsuri said through full throated tears. Harumi felt nervous and anxious but immediately did as her friend asked, hugging Matsuri close to her chest. She felt the girl's soft hair and head against her bosom, as Matsuri reached her arms to grab Harumi's back.

Harumi cursed her hesitation and felt disgusted by it. She couldn't help it, it was natural to be scared. There was something about Matsuri, though, that she had to admit: she was small, piquant. She had always slightly wanted to grab her up in her arms and tell her it was okay. To instruct her to be better with people and how to act. These were weird feelings coursing through her mind and Harumi couldn't understand it then.

"Haven't you ever noticed how I'm always getting up in your stuff and annoying you, teasing you, Harumi?" The question hit like a dagger in Harumi's chest, but she couldn't pull away because of Matsuri's grip. The taller girl felt like she was not standing on Earth anymore, this whole week had come like a blazing blur. What was happening now is what she had dreaded, perhaps from the outset of the letter. Maybe she had always feared if this could be a part of herself. Ever since reading her sister's letter, it had torn at her, the doubt about her own sexuality.

"Didn't you notice how I was trying to get close to you? Haven't I been doing everything in my power to get your attention?" Matsuri said desperately, hugging in a way that wasn't supportive anymore but holding on too tight.

Harumi thought for a second, "Yeah, but you're an underclassman. I figured you would like attention from a sempai." Matsuri hugged tighter, "It's not just that. That's part of it but there's… more." Harumi blushed, she couldn't get out of the hug no matter how she struggled. "Harumin, I'm pretty sure that I've been trying to say that I like you for a while now." Harumi felt stunned, that was the death blow. She lost her balance but Matsuri did a respectable job of taking up the slack, somewhat expecting the reaction to be like this. "I mean, we've been hanging out every day after school for a while now, I thought you would start to get the message what with all the flirting and touching. Are you straight? Is it impossible?"

The last words were sweet in a way, they penetrated Harumi's mind. The words felt weirdly enticing, strange, even convincing. Things curled up in her that she hadn't experienced before. Her eyes bulged and she felt short of breath.

Matsuri finally relented, and Harumi released the hug. Harumi caught her breath, "But you're an underclassman!?"

Matsuri was just surprised, "So!?" she shouted back, "What does that matter? It's only two years."

Harumi was anxious, what could she say? She felt like passing out, she was starting to shake. "Matsuri, I'd like to sit down now, please. Can I sit down?" Matsuri noticed the state Harumi was in, she held her wrists and guided her to a nearby bench. Matsuri watched her and felt bad, she couldn't stand the distance anymore and sat next to her but giving her space. They were comfortable on the bench, Harumi grappling with everything that'd been hitting her for weeks. She looked awful, distraught. 'She might throw up', Matsuri thought. She felt bad for springing everything on her. Matsuri held out her hand and to her surprise Harumi grabbed it with everything she was worth.

"Don't worry so much, Taniguchi-senpai!" Matsuri said, sweating about every move she made. Harumi was taking this hard. "It'll be alright. Don't have a panic attack! Do you want to go to the hospital?"

Harumi seemed to be losing control of the typhoon in her mind.

"Harumin!" Matsuri snapped, reaching out her hand and cupping Harumi's cheek in her hands so she could look her directly in the eyes, "Calm. Down. Okay?" Matsuri always knew this trouble was there but was shocked to see it for real. "I know I'm not Yuzu, but you can confide in me. I WANT you to confide in me right now. Please be my close friend and tell me what's on your mind."

Harumi breathed in and out, getting lost in Matsuri's eyes now. She slowly came back to earth. The waves of emotion made her wince, her chest heaving. "I think I might have had a thing for Yuzu," Harumi said desperately," tears were coming out in jets from her eyes, "I think I might have been in love with her. It was unrequited, and it's been dying inside me since she told me." It was Matsuri's turn to be shocked. "Ever since she started spending so much time with someone else, and after Mei left their relationship and Yuzu was depressed. It's had an effect on me and I just realized it." A tear fell down her cheeks, "I couldn't realize what was going on with me, it's just sort of burst forward since you told me what you told me."

"I was probably crushing on her a little without realizing it. Her choosing Mei tore me up." Matsuri grabbed Harumi's hard, not wanting to let this feeling go while she had the chance. She felt like Cinderella at that moment, fearing it would all be over tomorrow. Harumi was actually being honest with herself and now things became clearer, why she had talked about things so little over the intervening months that Yuzu had been in pain.

"Don't be ashamed of it, Harumi. I even tried to kiss her. She never had any feelings for me." Harumi looked shocked and troubled, "Yuzu is a one girl-gal," Matsuri said. She drawled, "Your face is a mess, pretty girl. That Mei is one fucked up whore to tear us both apart like this. The power she has over that girl is amazing."

Harumi laughed, they were strange curse words to come out of Matsuri's mouth. They both grew calmer, they laughed together. It was at this point when Matsuri lost all fortitude and reached around and hugged Harumi, putting her head on her neck. "Thanks for listening to my confession," cooed Harumi.

They hugged for a long time, barely being affected by the frosty weather. Harumi felt the pink girl's warmth like it was the only thing on that street to human beings could cling to in Harajuku. Matsuri was in her element in these streets but felt electricity coursing through her which she wasn't used to. Harumi felt peaceful.

The ocean in the girls' minds was settling back. The two had been incredibly stressed for the past year, and suddenly the pieces were falling back together.

They rubbed and hugged each other for warmth, feeling freed by the feeling in the open air. Two women stuck to each other.


	9. Chapter 9

The arcade was empty. Matsuri and Harumi had gone to the movies, but they were barely watching. After the film, they found a dark corner and started French kissing. It was a long, passionate kiss that they had been holding back for quite a long time.

It was so wet and deep and long that they forgot about time. Eventually they left the movie theater. Harumi didn't know how to deal with these new feelings. For a long time, she had acted as if everything was OK. Now, everything was not OK. Everything was a huge mess.

"We can't tell Nene about this," said Harumi.

"Why? She has a right to know eventually, doesn't she?" Matsuri gave her the usual wink and a smile.

Harumi stopped and looked around them, then she put her hands up to Matsuri's face and felt her cheeks and the sides of her face, smoothly touching her to get a sense of her. She looked deeply into the pink haired girl's eyes.

"Why am I like this?" she asked. Matsuri just looked up at her, "Because I'm here, maybe?" She put her hand on the taller girl's waist, then her lower back, and rubbed up and down. Harumi plunged her face down to her friend for another kiss, but they heard people and reversed course and just kept walking.

"This is crazy, why why…." Harumi was panicking. This wasn't what good girls did.

"Relax, relax!" said Matsuri, as she elbowed Harumi playfully. "It's fine, it's just what people do."

"But I didn't know I was like this?" Harumi said with anxiety. "What if I was always like this? What if I'm a…"

"A L-E-Z?" asked Matsuri. "Yeah, them," said Harumi with a laugh.

"I'll protect you, I hear they're dangerous woman eaters or something." Harumi turned a shade of crimson. "You what? Oh no." She felt so embarrassed.

They walked to a coffee house to get tea. It had turned cold at the end of the day. They wanted to warm up. Harumi had never been so nervous in her life, she hadn't ever been in a real relationship and had just experienced her first kiss. She wasn't known for this sort of thing. Maybe her gyaru look was armor against a world she didn't understand? Maybe it was a sign? She felt cold externally and internally. She didn't understand who she was anymore.

"Matsuri…" she asked more sweetly than she ever had before, and noticed the change, as did Matsuri. Matsuri smiled sweetly in turn, "Have you kissed anyone before now?" Matsuri's eyes bulged, "That was your first kiss just now wasn't it, Harumi?" She blushed red.

"That's good! It's never too late to learn. Did you like it?" Harumi was totally embarrassed, she got very quiet and crossed her legs, "Yes. Very much so."

"Do you mind that it was with a girl?" Harumi thought about it, "No, it was fine either way. It was sort of… wet and soft." Matsuri smiled, then grinned broadly, "Yeah, that's kissing."

"Can we do it again some time?" asked Harumi. Matsuri nodded, "Of course! I was afraid I would have to ask first!"

Harumi now felt a little more relaxed. She stared out of the window at the changing light of dusk. They had felt a connection between them, and maybe it had been simmering for a while, but it had overflowed just within the last hour or two. It felt nice to be in a determined relationship with goals that she could sense. She felt bad now for always having teased Yuzu about getting a boyfriend. That was a mouthful when she had just had her first kiss with another woman.

A server came by with their tea and milk, they prepared their drinks and sipped. They both looked into the other's eyes. It felt like a dream in this tea house, like some nostalgic thing you could only imagine.

They were content for a while with no words. Everything had been said in that passionate kiss. They were both terrible at communicating things in words, everything erupted from a dull roar in their reptilian brains, Harumi thought. They were both probably brilliant people but so stupid with relationship stuff or reading into any of this three and four months ago. She should've noticed how close Matsuri was acting with her, always trying to be in her personal space. This tension had released itself moments ago and now they were left with a sweet afterthought. It was hard not to notice Matsuri's lips sipping her tea. For the first time ever, she was noticing another girl's body in minute detail. Her eyes, lips, nose, for one; her hands were pretty, tiny and cute. There were a lot of things to like and admire about Matsuri.

"Uh, Matty—oh, is it okay if I call you that?" Matsuri seemed a little perturbed, "Okay, doesn't matter." She gave her a look with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, Matsuri, did what we just did, were you serious about it?" Matsuri was astonished and put on a grim face, "You—what? Seriously!?" She could've got up and left at the remark but reminded herself how difficult it had been to get Harumi this far, perhaps she could be allowed to misread things a little. She calmed herself down, put down her tea and folded her hands, "Serious. What is serious to you?"

Harumi had a casual face, it was a fun question, "I was serious, Matsuri," she grew more lascivious, "I don't mean to insult you. You joke with me all the time. I think it was serious, I don't want to insult you, okay?" There was real concern in her tone.

Matsuri left off the gas a little, "Yes, it was serious," like a child to her parent who asked her if she was doing her homework. "I care for you, I want to get to know you better, I took that kiss very seriously and I understood what it meant."

"Oh, good. I know it's prudish and piggish to act like you didn't care or it wasn't honest—I know how sincere you were, I felt your sincerity. I just wanted to be sure it was in good faith—" Matsuri looked like she might cry, Harumi reached her hand out and held Matsuri's, "No. I don't mean that. What I mean is…" Her mind blanked and wandered, "You're important to me now. And I feel really confused, I'm sorry. This is all so overwhelming, I deeply care about you, Matsuri."

Matsuri thought this was a good start, she reached and met Harumi's hand and Harumi held her hand back, intertwining their fingers. "It felt good, didn't it?" The question hung in the air like gold plated lettering.

"Yes," responded Harumi, peering deeply into the other girl's eyes before letting go and drinking more tea.

On their way out of the tea house, their shoulders bumped. It had typically happened before while hanging out with the gang, but now it felt more alive. There was a resonance to their touch that rang through her body. Harumi pulled Matsuri to an alley that looked somewhat dark, and hugged Matsuri tightly. "I'm sorry, all of my feelings are getting released today and I can't stop it." She felt desperate to release some part of herself now, some long neglected part in intimacy, courage, touch.

She rested her chin on Matsuri's shoulder and had her hands around her back, smoothly touching her friend to search for her figure. "Is it ok when I touch you? Do you like it?" Matsuri blushed, "Of course."

They both closed their eyes and held onto each other. Their body heat could be felt through their clothes, it was intoxicating, especially to Harumi who barely touched anyone.

"I'm kind of frigid, I'm sure you can tell."

Matsuri just rolled her eyes, "You just take a minute to warm up, is all. You're a very passionate woman. Don't put yourself down. Our kiss in the theater didn't feel cold or frigid." And she felt her friend more, pulling more into her, rubbing her hands around Harumi's waist.

"I want to explore this."

"Yes, of course," replied Matsuri. "How do you want to go about it?" she said as they separated and looked into each other's eyes.

"Can I stay at your place tonight?" asked Harumi.

Matsuri blushed and smiled, "That would be great. My parents are almost never around."

Harumi smiled down at Matsuri, she closed in and they sucked and felt their lips together, tasting each other's mouths and bodies, enjoying the sensation, exchanging a little spit and wanting more of it.

"You taste amazing," said Harumi. "You equally," said Matsuri, with her eyes shut, lost in this dream. "I'm extremely happy right now," said Matsuri, "You've made me so very happy by expressing yourself so much today. I was afraid I'd never unlock your heart the way I wanted to."

Harumi softly touched her forehead to Matsuri's, shutting her eyes, and then opened them to find Matsuri had opened hers.

"Let's go to your place!" Harumi let out, and they held each other's hands inconspicuously between them, linking only a few fingers so people wouldn't notice.

"Actually, I don't think I've been there before," stammered Harumi.

"It's lovely, you'll like it, I promise." And Harumi felt content.


	10. Chapter 10

They opened the front door to the apartment, Matsuri scraping into the knob with her key. Harumi pushed it open, reaching her hand above the shorter girl in her excitement. She was a little too brazen right now, nervous about what might happen. Things were going fast, and she was afraid and full of energy.

"Wow, Matsuri! So, this is where you live, huh? A spacious apartment like this? What about your parents?"

Matsuri looked down coldly, "I don't ever see them anymore. I was lucky to get their attention to pay for this apartment."

"Oh." Harumi blushed, she would have to try to be a little nicer and walk more cautiously from now on.

"Alright Matsuri, I understand. It's not a big deal to me but it's a big deal to you." She put her arm around Matsuri's shoulder, but the pink haired girl brushed it off to go make tea.

"Do you want something to eat, Harumi? Rice and miso soup is all I have, I haven't gone to the store in weeks."

"Sure! I'll help! What do you need?"

"No, no, no," replied Matsuri, "guests sit on the sofa and wait. Watch TV or take a tour, today is too special not for me to treat my first and only guest."

Harumi stared in concern but consented. It was Matsuri's place after all. She wandered around the apartment, noting how empty and thrown together the it was. Matsuri hadn't spent any time making it into a home or personalizing anything. Barren white plaster walls, a bed, pink clock, one sloppy TV with a couple channels on it. She couldn't believe Matsuri lived like this.

She waltzed into the bedroom, finding her way like a lost puppy. There wasn't a lot to do here except haunt the place, there was an apple computer, her phone, a picture of her parents when they were together, looking happy but faking it for all she knew. Harumi felt sad inside, now she knew why Matsuri was always teasing her for attention. There was barely a picture of a friend here. There was a picture of Yuzu in a photo booth, and the same one she had at home with the whole group, Nene, Yuzu and her.

She felt dispirited in this barren room. She realized how lucky she had been to have a home and siblings to go to after school every day. She wanted to make Matsuri feel less of the hurt she was feeling. It was all too much to bear and overwhelming her, the frigid emotions of this place. She stopped herself from crying, Matsuri lived a hard life.

She rushed over to the kitchen and smelled the things Matsuri called a meal, steamed rice and miso paste. Matsuri was watching a timer while Harumi approached her from behind. She hugged her arms around her stomach. The pink haired girl was wearing a cute apron and looked so serious trying to get the food right.

Matsuri was surprised but not shocked, warming to the idea after a moment. After all, they had done more at the movies, but in this place, it felt like a revelation, electric. "Harumi," Matsuri sighed, and she hugged tighter, a bit below her belly button. She put her head on Matsuri's shoulder, "Can you kiss me? Please?" Harumi said in a faint voice. Matsuri turned around and put her hands around Harumi's hips. She looked up to the taller girl and allowed herself into a kiss. They sucked deeply into each other, mouths open in a slutty way, not knowing exactly where to take it. There was more in this kiss than Matsuri had expected, almost a desperation, different emotions. Matsuri broke it off in a hurry. She didn't know why it felt different, maybe it was the place. "What is it?" she said with an uncomfortable smirk.

"This apartment, everything reeks of sadness here," said Harumi. Matsuri looked around uneasily, she was so used to this existence that she'd never thought about it before. "Yeah…" Harumi touched her right hand to Matsuri's cheek, holding her other hand to her hip, "This place sucks, yeah?" Matsuri turned around. "I'm used to it, it's where I live I guess. I do school work here and otherwise sleep."

Harumi hugged her quickly, "I just can't imagine you living in a place like this by yourself every night. No parents or anybody." She nuzzled her nose into her neck, "I felt bad and had to hug you. I shouldn't ever look down on you, but this isn't right."

Matsuri slipped off to check the egg timer and miso soup. "I guess it's my home. My parents are divorced and they do whatever they want to do with whoever they want. So do I."

Harumi stood there gazing at the girl, "Yes," she replied with a wincing smile. Harumi felt like she might have gone too far and hugged her again.

"Sleep with me tonight." Harumi was stunned, Matsuri had come right out and said it. She wasn't surprised after spending five minutes in this ghastly apartment. She must've been lonely for so long. This was a human being she could help, she wanted to caress her from the bottom of her heart. Harumi exhaled, "I will, I promise."

Matsuri looked up to her while being cradled in her arms, feeling content and mystified by the whole day. She needed human touch and was getting a lot of it which made her feel playful and spunky. "Thanks," she smiled.

Harumi left Matsuri to cook dinner, noticing that her friend looked perkier and happier. She sat on the couch looking at her phone, there were no text messages or new photos. She looked through old ones of Yuzu, feeling somewhat melancholy. Ten minutes later she heard Matsuri say, "It's ready!" from the small kitchenette. They ate but it wasn't much, one or two plates, just enough to get by. Matsuri's diet was already less substantial than Harumi's so picking at whatever she had made was slightly miserable. They ate in peace, neither wanted to ruin the expectations of what might come after, and feeling generally impulsive.

When they were done, they helped each other clean up. They hardly saying a word in the growing excitement. Harumi eventually broke the silence, "Matsuri, do you have to study tonight or anything?"

"No Haru, I can leave all that for tomorrow. Tonight is special, there's more important things than homework for a young, growing girl."

"I agree," Harumi replied casually.

Matsuri led her friend by the wrist and planted her on the couch in the living room. It was grey and disheveled, not something Matsuri chose herself, but soft and comfy, and big. Matsuri sat next to Harumi, then scooted closer until they could feel each other's body heat. Harumi was enjoying Matsuri taking the lead. The pink haired girl began investigating the body next to her with her playful hands. Being within Matsuri's orbit was enthralling, she wasn't used to having her body figured out like this. She was hesitant to act herself because of her lack of experience.

"Can I you lay down?" asked Matsuri.

"Sure." Harumi laid back while Matsuri straddled her waist, climbing on top of her like a merchant marine in the field of battle. Harumi smiled feeling Matsuri picking the spots she liked most. Matsuri bent down, hands on Harumi's shoulders for support, and started kissing her neck with small laps of her tongue. Harumi went wild and moaned. The passion in her burst open, unlocked by another body for the first time. She radiated from the heat and soft wetness of the tongue as it slid around her long neck and jawline. She felt coy about this stuff, she was glad the pink haired girl was taking all of the advantage. Her internal temperature rose from all of the advances.

Matsuri bathed Harumi in long licks, nuzzling, pecking and sucking at everything above her uniform. She had longed to feel Harumi's body and lay waste to it. She had opined for the proportions of her, the larger exaggerated features compared to herself. Her neckline and collarbone had always been amazing, it was one of the first things that had attracted her when they met at that McDonalds so long ago. Harumi had smeared ketchup on her and it perked her right up. Enjoying Harumi like a snack was nothing short of incredible. She was a 6-layer chocolate cake and Matsuri was going to enjoy it very slowly. She liked the idea of a partner with a size differential, it felt equal to her value of herself and what she wanted.

Conquering Harumi's physical form was a lot of fun. She got lost thinking about how she would come to know Harumi better, her personal quirks, hates and likes. She wanted to know what annoyed her, what she enjoyed. Matsuri had no idea what her passions were. Their relationship had started from a physical level after a long period of antipathy and mixed friendship. Theirs was a weird cocktail of barely getting along and intensely wanting the other.

Matsuri could tell Harumi had had enough. She was grimacing through it now, all the stimulation was too much. Her face was blotchy. The way she got turned on was just right, a prim lady who had been drinking tea in her boudoir now prostrate to her advances.

She sat on top of Harumi and bent closer, almost whispering to her with her breath, waiting for Harumi to notice the contact had stopped. Harumi looked up and was shocked at Matsuri's hungry eyes, daring her after having waiting so long for this. Their bodies were twisted into this new form, connected at the hip in the sexiest way.

Matsuri grinned, "Hey, Harumin," she said playfully, tracing her finger down the left side of her neck.

"Hey," Harumi replied exhausted. They kissed with tongues, dancing in their mouths, slobbering out of tiredness. Matsuri pecked Harumi's jawbone, under and over, then her ear lobe. Finally, she pricked the tips of her ears with the tip of her tongue, her eyelid, forehead and cheeks. Harumi responded to it very well encouraging with the internal sounds emanating in her lust-lorn body. Matsuri always liked Harumi's face, the structure of it protruding out of that long neck. The pink haired girl brushed Harumi's hair and took out the hair pin fastening it together. It was now just loose tendrils and strands. She weaved the strands lovingly.

"I've wanted to touch you like this for so long it hurts, but I guess I never realized it. This burning attraction." She stroked the side of her face, "My gyaru girlfriend." Harumi shut her eyes at Matsuri's fingers, they knew what they were doing. Matsuri was creative in how she loved.

Harumi grabbed Matsuri's hip, "It's nice having a cute girl on top of me. I feel comfortable knowing the doctor has my best interests at heart." They smiled at each other knowingly. What should they do now? They were lost in the serene look of each other's eyes.

Matsuri hadn't gone this far with anyone like this before, how was she to begin unraveling her prize without scaring Harumi about the prospect of what she wanted to do?

She thought for a second, "Harumin, we've been friends for a while, you know?"

"Yeah," she replied, barely acknowledging her.

"I want to see them." Harumi looked up with surprised, "Huh?" Matsuri cleared her throat, "I want to see the girls. Badly." Harumi froze, then her eyes bulged, "You mean my breasts?" Matsuri looked down shamefacedly, "Yes. I've wanted to see them and touch them since the first day we met." Matsuri looked away.

Harumi smirked, "Naughty girl. Alright, if that's what'll get you off." She began unbuttoning her shirt, but Matsuri stopped her. "Can I do it, please?" Matsuri had an honest look like a dog asking for cookies. "Of course!" Harumi laid back on her elbows, as Matsuri's candy gloss nails slid under her skirt and untucked her shirt. She began unbuttoning. She helped Harumi get the shirt off, supporting her while while the sleeves came off.

Matsuri rubbed her hands over Harumi's breasts while still in her bra, then reached around and undid the clasp. Matsuri loosened the straps around the shoulders. Harumi's real live breasts became exposed and they were a wonder to behold.

Here they were in all their glory, the body that was all Matsuri had thought about for the longest time. She played with and touched them, like a kitty who had found her new toy. She checked their firmness, satisfied at their shape, sagging off the side with their weight. She started rubbing the nipples with her thumbs and Harumi moaned. It felt so amazing Harumi could have fainted, it was so much attention to her body that she wasn't at all used to. She got lost in the pleasure as Matsuri began to run her tongue around her nipples in circles, blowing on them, sucking on them, licking and groping. Today was a good day.

Matsuri sucked on one nipple a bit too hard and Harumi admonished her, but otherwise she couldn't move. The feeling Matsuri was producing had the amazing effect of sinking her into a chasm of pleasure. The pink haired girl looked up from her work. Harumi had taken all the abuse and hadn't batted an eye, her arm slung over her face now, lost in it all. "It must've felt good," Matsuri said.

Harumi responded lazily, "Mmh," barely able to make words.

Matsuri rubbed her thumbs in concentric circles around the nipples and asked her friend, "Harumin, how did it all feel Did you like it?"

"Yessh," she replied.

"I'm going to pull off your pants now, OK?" Harumi looked down at the girl, and in lethargic tones, tongue choking in her throat, acceded.

Matsuri, with help from Harumi, pulled her skirt down to her knees, revealing cotton white panties with a floral pattern rim. Matsuri patted in the triangular space between legs and stomach, making Harumi laugh watching her cute childlike actions. Matsuri got greedy, she reached her hands around Harumi's fleshy hips and in under the straps around her waist, "Lift up your butt."

Harumi did and they came off in one big pull. Harumi was naked now. Her body was staring Matsuri in the face, driving her bonkers. She was caught up in the spectacle of it all. This bigger girl, with her bigger body, splayed out in front of her with those big breasts and what was between her legs. Harumi's genitals were just…there. She sniffed close to them and immediately became dizzy.

The full nakedness of Harumi's body was distracting. Matsuri could barely function. She had never been this far with and this body was perplexing. What to do? How to do? Harumi blushed to her chest when she realized she was being stared at. Matsuri licked her chops, not having any conceivable notion of where to start.

Harumi hugged her breasts, feeling exposed now and not knowing what to do about the pause in the action. Maybe things had gone a bit far now, she thought.

Matsuri was drooling now. She was eyeing all that Harumi was at that moment with so much lasciviousness it was becoming awkward. This girl was laying naked on her couch in her apartment, legs opened in a distraught fashion showing everything to Matsuri. Her entire anatomy was spread like a buffet. It was a dream come true, a life goal.

"I'm going to get naked too," she said seductively, still in awe of the presence of a naked Harumi. She stood up and her friend watched as in the daintiest way possible, Matsuri stripped off her uniform for her. Her head was on her elbow and she just smirked and enjoyed the show. Matsuri unclipped her bra and slid the straps off. She threw it at Harumi's face and Harumi just rolled her eyes. Matsuri had little lumps of breasts with pink nipples and Harumi thought they were cute. Matsuri sauntered in the middling of the apartment, gracefully making stroke after stroke to remove her clothing. She undid her skirt and to Harumi's satisfaction, pulled down her panties, revealing brown hair and bare scantily clad legs.

Harumi liked what she saw and smiled a toothy smile. She quite liked the way Matsuri looked in the nude and felt a fervent desire rise. She had thought little about sex or kissing on the way to the apartment but now, looking down at what she was about to get do, she felt like she wanted to hold Matsuri for a long time.

"Turn around," asked Harumi. Matsuri twirled. "I like your body as well, come here." Harumi sat up and hugged Matsuri, "Is this what you dreamed of?" Matsuri looked uncomfortable for a moment, naked in her living room and all, and narrowed her eyes erotically down at Harumi's breasts, "I think so," she plaintively said.

She pushed Harumi onto the couch again and straddled her waist. She bent down and they kissed and rubbed, touching each other's naked bodies. Matsuri looked for every erogenous zone while Harumi's hands playfully ran over Matsuri's back, neck, ass, hips and legs, searching for the spot that would get a rise out of the other girl. They felt each other out for twenty minutes, getting sweaty from the contact and licking and acting as slutty as possible. They were enthralled by the combination of their naked bodies for the first time.

They both suddenly felt tired and Matsuri lay down and spooned Harumi on one side of the couch. They lay naked, Matsuri having swung an arm and leg over the top of Harumi. The cool air wore down the thrall that had just taken place, neutralizing the body heat. They hugged, hand linked in hand. They felt comfortable, not ashamed of what had just occurred. Proud even.

"We could make a million dollars on the street with a movie of this," commented Matsuri. "We sure would," confirmed Harumi. Matsuri kissed along Harumi's side, her neck, breasts and stomach.

"Can we call this a relationship?" asked Matsuri. Harumi hugged her closer, they were breast to breast on their sides. Harumi brushed pink hair from her friend's face. She kissed her girlfriend's forehead slowly, "I'd like that, Matsuri," she winked. Matsuri got emotional, the baggage of loneliness was suddenly lifted. "You're braver than I thought, Harumi," she searched in her eyes, "I didn't think I'd ever bag you like this, you're my trophy on top of other trophies."

Harumi smirked, "Bagged me? You haven't done that until we go to the bedroom for real." A brow raised from Matsuri's eye, she blushed throughout her entire body, this time she was the one caught off guard. This big, naked girl's body mights soon be in her bed. Her bed would smell like Harumi and she would never want to clean her sheets again. The place where she slept every night would have the reminiscences of Harumi sweaty, naked body from now on.

Even when she would eventually leave, she would imagine Harumi on whatever side of the bed she chose. It was a big step, this woman's presence would be unforgettable.

"You're so damn sexy, Harumi. So fine. How do you do it?" Harumi smiled and laughed, her big gorgeous laugh with her teeth showing and tongue rolling. Matsuri loved watching the graceful movements of her friend's body, like a swan, a beautiful animal. The muscles worked and flexed in glistening sweat and Matsuri felt so turned on and horny. Harumi was gorgeous; at the arcade, the mall, lunch at school, she wanted to cry at the fact that this girl was right next to her at that moment.

"Fashion, babe. Ancient gyaru secret."

"Well, my gyaru friend," said Matsuri as she lifted Harumi's chin with her elegant fingers, "I really like you, and I want to know everything about you." Harumi blushed, "Am I that unreadable? What more do you you want to know about me?" She looked away, acting coy. "It's part of what makes me love you. Your mysteriousness."

Harumi's eyes redirected to Matsuri's face. She looked, not thinking about the wild things they had done for the last two hours, but about the person in front of her again. She thought of the apartment and how lonely it was.

"You love me? Huh?" Harumi hadn't meant to blurt it out, but Matsuri's eyes showed white, absolutely shocked.

"Huh?"

Harumi coughed in embarrassment. "Matsuri-."

Matsuri relented, "I couldn't say anything for the longest time, but since you're naked and hugging me on my living room couch, I guess I can say that I've fallen for you." It was a lot of one day for both of them, but they had boarded this steam train together and weren't going to get off for anything.

Harumi teared up, she thought about how much that confession had meant for Matsuri to admit, "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. You're so sweet," she smiled while feeling discomfort at the position she had put her friend in. She hadn't thought about her own feelings at all, merely jumping into the sex. Yet she was asking Matsuri if she loved her.

Matsuri now peered into Harumi's eyes and asked, "Do you love me?"

Harumi showed a questioning look, then down at Matsuri's body, getting red around the face. "I think I do. I think it's become more apparent to me the more time we've spent together today. I don't know why I never thought of it before." Matsuri cupped Harumi's cheek in her hand and they held each other's heads together. It was nice to be talking to the girl she liked, nice to be in this position, thought Matsuri. "Today has happened too fast. But I won't abandon this."

"Yeah. It's been a bit much. But there's time to smooth out the edges."

They sat quietly for a long time in an embrace, and then Matsuri broke it off. She had been silently working up her courage.

"I want to go to the bedroom and do something utterly scandalous now," she admitted her friend, face totally red and scared.

"Okay," replied Harumi. They kissed softly and smiled knowingly at each other. "I'll keep going because there's no one else like you. No one else even comes close, Matsuri. I think I want to be here with you, I want to be here for you." They hugged and felt each other's bodies against each other, breathing in the smell each of them gave off from their sweat and love, neither wanting to forget it for the rest of their lives.


	11. Chapter 11

Matsuri got up from the couch and helped Harumin in her turn, though she was dizzy and heavier. Her hand was sweaty from what had gone on before, a long session that had lasted for a few hours. They were both naked and glistening like stuffed pigs. They looked each other up and down as Harumin put her hands on Matsuri's shoulders.

"Let's go," said Harumin, as she felt for Matsuri's hand and tugged her towards the bedroom. They were exhausted but full of energy from what had happened before. They led one another to Matsuri's bedroom hand in hand supporting each other's weight. Matsuri had stars in her eyes, her sight was blurry, and everything was going so fast and too well.

Matsuri shut the door behind them even though it didn't matter since nobody else was there. "Our secret, Harumin," she laughed cutely. Harumin immediately put her fingers through Matsuri's hair, weaving through the strands and kissing her with an open mouth. They separated to examine each other once more, then held onto their bodies. They pulled each other into bed without another word.

"We should do something naughty," said Matsuri without any emotion. They pulled the covers over their bodies. The bed springs were shaking under their weight. "I don't know where to start," replied Harumin.

"Tonight, we can just sleep like this," Matsuri pulled Harumin's arm over her stomach as she got onto her side. Harumin stuck her other arm in between Matsuri's arm underneath her. She was holding her friend around the stomach, and then lower below her belly button, as Matsuri kept pushing her grasp lower. "Are you sure about this, Matsuri? Last chance to say it was an accident, you know."

Matsuri stopped and said, "Don't bullshit me, this is no accident." Harumin smiled into Matsuri's back, "Sorry, that was insensitive," Matsuri winced, "You can't deny what's going on here, it's too late. You don't want out, do you?"

"No, of course not. It's the furthest thing from my mind. I'm nervous though. I've never been this far with anyone. It may have been boiling up between us for so long but now that we're naked and stuck together I can't think anymore. I'm out of breath."

Matsuri pushed her money into the center of the table and reached her right hand down to Harumin's hand and shoved it into her crotch. Matsuri put her hand over the other girl's and moved it over her middle finger to begin rubbing her clit through her hand. "Mmh oh fuck," said Matsuri. Matsuri was going slow, as Harumin was starting to figure it out. Matsuri was going to cum tonight, she was going to make her friend rub her, so she could shake against her and scream and moan because she wanted Harumin so badly.

She rubbed vigorously all over her genitals, around, almost inside of her, and then back to her pearl. Matsuri had masturbated before so she knew what she liked. She was happy to see that Harumin liked it just as much, getting into it as she searched her friend with her guidance. "I love it when you touch me, Harumin, it feels good. Mmh, mmmmm." Matsuri waited until she was close.

"I want to go all the way with you." Matsuri was barely shocked out of her sexual blur. "Lick me." Her friend slipped out of bed, got on her knees, and pulled Matsuri's groin close to the edge of the bed. Harumin began licking incessantly. "Ooooh, shittt," sighed Matsuri, going completely crazy.

Harumin nibbled her clit, then took long licks around and in-between, trying to taste as much as possible of Matsuri's most private place.

"Uhh, uhh," Matsuri was going to cum. Harumin stopped suddenly, she was happy and wanted to see what teasing would do, "Uhh, uhh, what is it?" Matsuri looked down half-awake in her stupor.

"I just wanted to look at you for a second, because you're so beautiful and I'm so lucky right now. This is crazy." Matsuri almost cried at the beauty of what her friend said, but after waiting 30-40 seconds Harumin's giant mouth and tongue began to devour Matsuri's crotch all over again and she came, gripping the bed sheets tightly and releasing what felt like ages of frustration.

"Ahhh, uhhh, Haru-, Haruuuu…" Matsuri couldn't form words.

Her legs twitched and spasmed, and Harumin was still soaking everything up with her tongue, holding onto Matsuri's thighs and lifting them so she could get to every last piece of her friend without anything blocking her mouth. She was comforting her in the most exquisite way.

At that moment Matsuri yearned for her friend. "Oh that was fantastic! Ohhh God lover," sighed Matsuri, feeling completely content. She reached down and hugged Harumin into her arms and the other girl propelled herself back on top of Matsuri.

"Did it work, Matty, did I get you off?" Matsuri had stars in her eyes, "Yus. Thanks…" She had a look of utter love, and Harumin set herself down to kiss her friend. Matsuri didn't mind the wetness from her genitals still sticking to Harumin's face and lips. She seductively licked all over as she had felt her friend do to her down below. The culmination of the act drove them to insane amounts of eroticness. Knowing who Harumin was, a good friend, and the way they had come together that day, and this was her first time, and it was 'freaking Harumin', and her juices were all over her face, Matsuri couldn't take it anymore. Things had gotten so heavy suddenly.

The brain wanted a piece too.

Matsuri hugged Harumin tightly, putting her legs around her butt. She was completely open to the other woman, "Thank you Harumin, thank you." She was almost crying from happiness.

Harumin could barely move, "What is this!?" She laughed, muffled in Matsuri's embrace. "I've wanted you to be my girlfriend since we met. How is it that you could be the one who did it first!? I thought I'd have to convince and flirt with you forever and instruct you, and you just… you just did it! It was awesome."

Harumin was laughing now, but still muffled by her cute friend. "This means everything, you mean everything to me. I don't ever want to let you go, Harumin." Things were getting serious, Matsuri was going deep.

Harumin put her hand up to Matsuri's grasp behind her, patting her hands to let her go. Harumin dipped her head out to breath. She took a big breath of fresh air, "You liked that, didn't you? I'm really glad you did." She smiled. Matsuri smiled back in return, a knowing erotic flair to it. Harumin noticed and returned the look. They watched each other for a second, and then…

"I can't believe it's you, in my bed," said Matsuri, "am I dreaming?" She cupped Harumin's cheek.

"You're so insanely beautiful, I was so attracted to you when Yuzu introduced me to you. And we've been fighting ever since. Could you tell all this time that I liked you? Was the flirting obvious?"

Harumin thought for a second, "I know you kept touching me, and it always kept turning me on."

Matsuri was surprised, "Do you think I would've let Nene play with me like that?" Matsuri was more surprised, "You're like a little kid who needs a lot of attention, and my motherly instincts just played out from there," Matsuri frowned now, and crossed her arms. "I don't need another mother," she said.

"All kids say that, my lovely girl." Harumin brushed her finger tips over Matsuri's body, drawing things with her nails lightly.

"Mmm, your touch, it's radiant, every connection strikes through me like lightning, I want you carved into my soul, Harumin!" Harumin liked playing with her prey, she found.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to leave," Matsuri's eyes struck open, "I like you too much. I really want to stay like this until I have to leave for school tomorrow." Matsuri just looked up at her. She had no idea Harumin had this much lust and beauty in her, this much affection for her.

"Have I been naughty, Mommy?" Harumin furrowed her brows, "Don't say that! You're making me feel like a creep now!" They laughed.

"It's my turn now, but I don't know how I'm going to do it." Harumin stared blankly, "Well, let's think about that. What would be the best way for Matsuri, who is now my little bed-lover, to get off big-sis Harumin in her bed after school, when they're both sleeping together in that bed?"

"Hmmm," openly wondered Matsuri. At that moment Harumin tickled the girl mercilessly, and Matsuri couldn't stop laughing, "Stop! Stop! What the hell!? Hahaha," and she tried to turn over, but Harumi was straddling her. The girl finally stopped.

"I want to be filthy, I want you to sit on my face and ride me and hold onto the bed rails." Harumin's jaw dropped. She tried to compose herself but failed. "But I'm bigger than you, is it really alright?" she asked.

"Yes, just don't literally sit on me and always try to leave some space or you'll hurt me by accident." Harumin was shocked by her candor. "I can't believe you really want to do this. I can't believe we're really about to do this and I'm really going to let you try."

Matsuri scooted back a bit and put a pillow under her head. "Please, crawl over and sit lightly above my face, okay?" Matsuri's arms were wide open. "When in France…" Harumin said.

The bigger girl climbed over Matsuri's arms and placed her knees around the pillow under Matty's head. Matsuri place her hands on Harumi's ass, rubbing and rubbing, and then looking for the sweet spot. Harumin was silently humping and getting into it.

"Lightly brush against my face, until like a plane and a walk tunnel, we find our connection," whispered Matsuri. "Mmmh," moaned Harumin.

She swayed over her until Matsuri's tongue was in a good position and Matsuri held her hands under her friend's butt. "Hump a little, don't be afraid, I want to taste you." Suddenly Matsuri's tongue was all over the best places, and Harumin was humping into her as lightly as could be. Matsuri was having a great time holding onto her and feeling her go crazy from the unique sensation of a moist tongue on her private place.

The art was in how Harumin was lightly humping into her girlfriend's face, getting enough of a taste and rising again. Eventually Matsuri kept her in place a little more solidly and Harumin was really getting into it. Matsuri let her know she was going to penetrate her by snaking a finger down her ass to her entrance. Harumin didn't mind but the sensation was strange and even more erotic than they had already been. Matsuri must have really cared for her, since her touch was so tender.

A finger went in and out and in, and Harumin was humping a little wilder and crazier now. "Uuuuh, uuuuuuh," Harumin was going nuts. It went on for over ten minutes before Harumin was getting quite close. She took long strokes into her lover's face, building and building. "Mmmh, mmmmmmh."

Suddenly Matsuri slapped her on the butt. She remembered how Harumin had teased her. Harumin had the presence of mind to lift her hips. "Whaa…" she said. "I just wanted to look at you for a second," she said as Harumin moved her body aside to look at a very sweaty Matsuri, eyes filled with desire. Harumin shook just inches from her, "Okay, last run." And Harumin really rubbed herself into Matsuri, guiding herself with her friend's hands. Matsuri sucked and fucked her until she came, her body shaking into Matsuri's mouth down below, gripping the rails and moaning crazily, her entire body on fire. "Yes, yes!"

In the last moment Matsuri jammed her finger into Harumin and she flared back, but still had an orgasm regardless, "A little more pleasant, okay!?" she said amid her stupor. "Sorry," said Matsuri.

"Umm-uhh," she shook the rest of it out of her, combining her body with Matsuri's mouth.

"Get on your knees, please," said Matsuri, as her friend lifted a knee up to see Matsuri was sweating and wet, "Okay," she stood up on her knees and bent over in front of Matsuri. Matsuri dug in and fingered Harumin, "Let's go for one more," "Mmh," replied Harumin.

She lifted her butt in the air and immediately felt Matsuri dominate her, rubbing all over her body, touching her and fingering her and rubbing her genitals. She licked her with flicks of her tongue. Harumin nearly collapsed but stayed on her knees, though weak from the sensation.

It went on for another 10 minutes and Harumin was completely finished. "Uuuuh!" she squealed, "Uuuuh!" Matsuri kissed her all over her backside, back of her lower legs, back thighs, butt, even in between her crack. Matsuri felt such adoring affection for Harumin at that moment, she was full of energy.

"Mmmh, Matsuri, feels nice," she said, laying her head on her hands, wet all over now from Matsuri's tongue bath. "You're a dirty girl and I had to clean you up… and…" she mumbled, "I've dreamed of doing this with you, and this was amazing, and I wanted to unleash my fantasies on you."

Harumin lifted herself up, and touched her nose to Matsuri's, "That was really great, and I could feel your affection for me in everything that you did. Good-" she kissed Matty on the nose, "-job," she kissed her right nipple, and licked it, and licked all over Matsuri's body, eventually going down on her until Matsuri couldn't take it anymore and was cumming again from Harumin's tongue on her genitals and rubbing her.

They were both exhausted and sweating all over. They held each other and hugged face to face, legs scissoring. "Let's take a shower." Harumin nodded, "Let's."


	12. Chapter 12

They kissed in the hot water and felt each other, cleaning each other with a soapy sponge that Matsuri usually used for herself. They took 45 minutes stroking each other with their hands and the sponge. It was a night of utter euphoria.

The water was hot and nice. They had fallen in love with each other in the span of only a day and the shock had made it that much more extreme.

They couldn't let go of each other. All the time in the shower they were hugging and sucking on parts of each other, they liked experiencing each other's bodies.

They reached their hands down to the other's crotch and began rubbing, climaxing together just out of sight of the water so it wouldn't be too dry and used soap for lubrication.

They laughed together, tittering about their awkward situation, "When are we ever going to stop!?" Matsuri sighed into her girlfriend, breathing hard from her orgasm, "I don't know," replied Harumin, "I can't keep my eyes off you and my hands are connected to my brain, and that's nothing but static right now."

"I think I love you, I really do," said Harumin, her hands on Matsuri's shoulders, "Thanks Harumin, that means so much, it truly does," she hugged Harumin's breasts.

"Did you think you would do this with another woman?" asked Harumin in a shy way.

"Yes, honestly," smiled Matsuri. "I've always been kind of gay or bisexual. Did I tell you I kissed Mei one time?"

Harumin was surprised, "Whaaaat!? Haha, why!?" Matsuri laughed in return. "I was getting back at her for taking Yuzu from me. She got the better of me though, I set her up with one of my online friends and I was afraid Yuzu would hate me for it. But you know Yuzu, everybody just ended up being friends again."

"Mm-hm," Harumin said with sage understanding, "Yuzu is an amazing girl. I'm not surprised you were attracted to her."

"Yeah," replied Matsuri, "but I like you a little better than her now, obviously."

"Did you always know…" said Harumin, "that you wanted me or that I was maybe…" Matsuri hugged Harumin, "Yeah, sorry. I could tell that you were different and interesting. The way you dressed, the way you wore your hair. I thought I could have fun with you and I wasn't wrong. Plus, you were Yuzu's friend, and I've known her since I was a child. I always say, if they're good enough for Yuzu, they're more than good enough for this girl."

"You're good enough for me, Matsuri. I always thought you were a cute little thing. I liked having you as my friend. But I confess, my feelings for you didn't come to fruition until I found out Yuzu was…"

Matsuri felt her girlfriend's body in her arms, and the weird things that were going through her mind were telepathic right now, a chaotic spaghetti, "Yeah, it looks like we both got dumped. Yuzu is pretty great, I'm glad she's going to fight to stop this craziness and the arranged marriage."

"Me too."

Matsuri yawned, "It's time to go to bed, it's almost ten."

"Oh! You're right!" there was a clock on the wall showing 9:48 pm.

"You were incredible tonight and I'm never going to forget this for the rest of my life," said Harumin, "It was my first time and it was amazing."

"You read my mind," replied Matsuri sweetly.

"I can't believe we did all that stuff. I didn't think I'd know what to do, but I had enough of an idea when I saw you naked," Harumin said seductively. Matsuri smirked, Harumin went on, "I just did whatever I would do to myself, honestly. Whatever I thought you would like. I just kind of started with masturbation and theorized from there." Matsuri looked up, and they pecked each other on the lips nonchalantly.

They helped each other out of the shower gently, trying not to slip in the mess that they had made. They were drained. They toweled each other off, not allowing the other to do any drying or rubbing of their own body, including the crotch. They tried not to make it too sexy because then they would need another shower.

"Should we change your sheets do you think? Or…" Matsuri thought about it. "I suppose, I think I have another set."

They helped each other change Matsuri's bed's sheets without saying a word. When everything was clean, they looked down on the bed. They were still naked and had done everything noticing each other's bodies. "If we stay like this we'll get all horny again," said Matsuri. Harumin laughed out loud, "I know, right!"

Matsuri gave Harumin a clean pair of shorts that happened to be oversized because Matsuri liked big comfortable things that were baggy and street cool. "I'm really glad you had something in my size, Matty," Matsuri smiled, "I know! I was worried. But then you could've just slept naked with me after all, of course."

"What about a bra?" Matsuri shook her head, "I have a shirt though," and she gave her one of her rock n' roll shirts that said 'buzzingo' in yellow and black lettering with a lightning bolt. They were both wearing ridiculous bedtime clothes, but they helped mask the desire which was still intense. They looked each other over, "Thank God, I thought it was never going to end," said Matsuri ironically. "Oh yeah?" said Harumin, "What if I—" Matsuri interrupted her, "Don't even start the sex talk, please, my body can't take it." Harumin laughed, "Alright." But she did hold Matsuri's hand. "Which side should I sleep on?"

Matsuri looked at the bed, "Can you sleep next to the wall? You're pretty big, I'm afraid you'd smother me in my sleep." There was a giant railing on either side of the bed, so it would have been hard to exit or enter unless by the side, and the bed was stuffed against the corner of the room.

Harumin looked annoyed, "Okay, pipsqueak, probably nice on that side anyways. What if I have to pee during the night though?" Matsuri lowered her eyebrows, "Just climb over me. You've been climbing over me all day."

"Oh! Right!" Harumin blushed, embarrassed. She was asking stupid questions, she wanted to get to sleep too. She settled into bed and Matsuri filled in right behind her. Harumin was lying flat on her back, and Matsuri fiddled with her phone for the alarm. She knew she would have to wake them both up early tomorrow. "Did you tell your parents you were staying over at Yuzu's place like always?" asked Matsuri, "Yeah, it's the excuse that always works. Plus, they still think she's a bit off like she was forever since Mei left."

"Gotcha," replied Matsuri. They laid side by side in the bed. There was an electric pulse running through Matsuri now and she couldn't sleep. All the excitement made her pulse run. The girl she wanted to get with most was right next to her in her bed, arms touching hers, legs touching her legs. It was too much stimulation.

"It's hard to get to sleep like this," Harumin spoke first. "Yeah," replied Matsuri, "Harumin is right next to me in the bed I sleep in all by myself. I feel like I'm going to spaz out."

"Haha, oh Matsuri, that was a really cute thing to say."

"I mean it Harumin, I didn't think this would ever happen to me. You were the unattainable dream." Harumin smiled at her, "I think you're adorable, Matsuri. I thought you were annoying when we first met but you're a dedicated friend. You've always been there when I needed you, plus…I always thought you were kind of nice."

Just at that moment, something dug into Matsuri, a fleck of doubt. She grew listless and morose on her side of the bed, feeling isolated for some strange reason, from everything that she had known. She turned her body away from the girl next to her. 'What is this?' she thought. It was crawling all over her, this feeling of not wanting to ever let go. It invaded her consciousness. She wanted Harumin as a life partner, and Harumin seemed to be plainly underestimating all of this. She was treating it like a joke. "Harumin, how do you really feel about me though? Besides all the sex?"

Harumin was shocked, she got on her side to look Matsuri eye to eye, but the girl's head was turned away.

"Why was it me?" Matsuri asked. Harumin strolled her nails over Matsuri's arm awkwardly, trying to soothe her, "Are you wondering if this is real?" Matsuri frowned, "I don't know what I want. This is all so unbelievable. Earlier you were saying L-E-Z, and now we're both…L-E-Z."

Silence followed. Matsuri spoke up, "It isn't because of your sister, is it?" Harumin just kept her gaze on the girl, "I'm my own self, Matty. I like you, so I did what I did. I don't regret it at all." Harumin was silently starting to panic.

Matsuri was unsure about something, she turned over to look at Harumin. Harumin moved in to hold her, "Don't be worried Matty, don't question it. We don't have to tell Nene, we can still hang out with her if you want. We can even keep it from Yuzu for as long as you want to as well. After all, she didn't tell me about Mei for a long time. Are you having hetero doubts?"

Matsuri turned over and rubbed the side of the bed with her hand, stroking the clean sheet, "It's just all too good to feel true. I feel like I should have jumped through fire and fought a lion to get here with you. It was all too easy."

Harumin smiled, "I needed YOU, Matsuri. I wanted YOU. What about me? Maybe I stretched my hand out for support and didn't expect half so much love from you?" Matsuri's eyes grew wide. "You're way more mature about this stuff than me, Matsuri. I was having doubts today. What if it had been some other girl and she would've said it was weird and left me alone with my thoughts and I went home sad? What if I blew up at my sister and she had to leave home? What if we never spoke again. You're to thank for this, how this all turned out."

Matsuri was shocked and turned back around to look Harumin in the eyes. "I want you to need me, I really want you to need me. I neeeeeeeed you to need me, that would make me the happiest girl in the whole world, if you needed me, Harumin."

"Oh Matty, you didn't think I needed you? I chose to sleep with you," Matsuri started to tear up, "Oh, don't cry Matty," and she held her and hugged her. "You're too good for me!" cried Matsuri, "Nooo, noo. Maybe."

"Bitch," said Matsuri. "I'm sorry," said Harumin. "You're right, you're too good for me."

"Ugh," said Matsuri deeply into Harumin's chest, comforting herself there.

"Matsuri, I think you're beautiful," said Harumin and looked at Matsuri's swollen eyes, "You're pretty and adorable and I like you." Matsuri put her hands on the other girl's shoulders, "Do you think I'm… sexy?" Harumin furrowed her brows. "Matsuri, if you don't stop with this I'll take you out of bed, pull down your pants and spank you so hard!" "You're not my mother!" said Matsuri in a mocking tone. "Mmm," Harumin hugged Matsuri again. "You're somebody I chose to like, Matsuri. Cute as a button and you fit in my pocket, my calculator girlfriend."

"Uhhhh, never mind," said Matsuri in a huff. She turned over again and clicked off the light, "Good night."

Harumin sat silently for a while on her back, not getting to sleep yet. She put the back of her hand to her forehead. She didn't know how to make Matsuri understand their relationship and get over her insecurity. She liked Matsuri, everyone thought she was a good girl, mischievous but good all the same. But how was she special, and most of all special to her? What set her apart?

Her pink hair and petite body were a plus. She was smart, attractive, had good grades, a bright future, bad family and home life but that wasn't her fault. She thought of all the times she had played with Matsuri, trivial things like grabbing and touching her. She had emotional intelligence, and Harumin meanwhile could barely speak a word to her sister.

Harumin on the other hand had a more mature body, bigger breasts and a bigger butt, she was taller, heavier. All of that made her different and distinctive. She liked Matsuri for her intelligence and being herself. Harumin was awkward where Matsuri excelled, good at games and having fun, she cared about others and friends. But why did Harumin fall for Matsuri?

Matsuri was still hanging out, not quite asleep. This was stressing Harumin out, why did she need a reason to like Matsuri? Why did she need to justify their falling for each other? Why did Matsuri like her? She was a weirdo Gyaru who only had middling grades and a middling future of her own. Matsuri could be anything if she put her mind to it.

She rolled over and looked at the wall, "Matsuri, don't you love me?" Matsuri kept her position, "Yes, Harumin, I do."

"Do you believe that I do?"

"If you say so."

"Are you afraid there isn't anything more to our relationship than a physical one?"

Matsuri's ears perked up, she didn't know what to say. "Are you afraid we don't really get along and you were just a side girl instead of Yuzu?"

Matsuri's eyes opened wide. "No, I-"

Harumi lay on top of her and put her finger to her lips. "I like Yuzu as a friend, I'm satisfied with that. It was like a passing whim; trains in the night passing each other, not making a connection." Matsuri lifted a brow in interest, "But we met in the night and we made a connection. Why do we need justification for that?" Harumin asked.

Matsuri was starting to melt. "I'm afraid you don't love me the same way that I love you, I know it," said Matsuri. Harumin held Matsuri's hand with two of her own, "It's fine to feel insecure. Do you want to go on a date or two before we sleep together again, so you can think about it?"

Matsuri looked to the side, "I don't want to hurt you, Harumin."

"I know." She cupped her cheeks, Harumin loved cradling Matsuri's intelligent head in her hands, "If physical love doesn't prove it, and our emotional relationship hasn't gone far enough for you, then I can go further."

Matsuri sat up, Harumin was mildly surprised, "Harumin, what do you like?"

"Hmm." She thought to herself, "I like hazelnut ice cream. I like bad dramas on the weekday. I like Gyaru clothes and dressing up in big outfits that look kind of slutty and pretty too."

Matsuri listened, then responded, "I like skateboard culture, big hats, rock t-shirts, tennis shoes and sloppy jeans." She thought a little more, "I like to go out with friends and talk with them and have fun. I think I like…to manipulate people who aren't paying attention to me."

Harumin laughed a little, "That's well understood, Matty—" Matsuri looked down on her friend, "I really like it when you call me Matty, and I like it when I get to call you Haru." Harumin smiled.

"I like hanging out with you guys, but I have an extreme attraction for you, Harumin. You were the prize I couldn't imagine having. You have a great body and succulent breasts, and I admire your Gyaru style. I wanted to be all over you like a cheap coat. But you do confuse me."

"Yes?"

"I can't help it. It's like there's something always holding you back, or there was. Until perhaps Yuzu told you she was gay. Like you weren't comfortable with or accepting of yourself."

Harumin meant to step in, "—but not being a Gyaru, I mean being yourself. It's like Gyaru is hiding from something in yourself."

Harumin stroked Matsuri's pants, "I'm afraid." "Of what?" responded Matsuri. She was going to get to the bottom of this if they stayed up all night, "Are you afraid of who you are?"

Harumin looked up at the ceiling, "My sister was always so dominating. Gyaru was a way for me to distinguish myself. Yuzu is so brave and I'm so cowardly. I believed in Yuzu, and her belief that she would find a boyfriend, and that we would hang out in between dates. Maybe I always wanted Yuzu."

She was drawing arabesques in the air, letting her mind wander, "She was my escape hatch and my hope. Now I have to live in the real world, and everything came crashing down all at once. And you were there. It couldn't have been Nene because she's not as mature as you, but you're so street smart. I was immediately attracted to that, even if I didn't understand worldliness."

Matsuri stayed silent. "I've looked up to you, in a way." Matsuri was surprised, "You're so emotionally resonant that you know everything about what's going on in relationships, like Yuzu's. You were there when it began." She looked sad now. "I was bitter about being left out of Yuzu's life."

She looked up at Matsuri, "So I looked to you for some guiding light, and you provided it, at last. I mean, the arcade is fun, it's not really my scene." She sighed, "I was so lonely for a long time, so I've gravitated towards you, so strongly. She held onto Matsuri's pants with her clawing, nailed hand. "I needed you."

"We all need somebody, Harumin."

Harumin started to tear up, "It's okay to be L-E-Z, Haru. It's okay if you want or need to be L-E-Z with me." She touched her shoulder. "You want to be L-E-Z with me? Do you want to be in a relationship?"

Harumin stared blankly at her. She didn't understand relationships or friendships all that well. She thought she was already in one because of tonight but this was another barrier to entry. Just when she thought she was free of strings…

"Matsuri, please, you're so much smarter about this stuff than I am. If you put me on the spot, then I don't know how to respond. I know how to be dignified but I don't know how to live undignified, it's making me jealous of you."

Matsuri's eyes widened, "Yes, I could always tell that. Sorry, Haru, I'm being really insistent in this, it's my nature."

"It's like you're asking whether or why I love you? Can a person help that? Do you think I'm a fake?" A tear sprung down her cheek.

"I'm really a novice as well, Haru. You give me too much credit. I guess it's that tonight feels important to me and I don't want to let it go, I don't want to sleep. It's such a point in my life where I want to investigate these feelings until I can understand them."

Harumin looked up at the ceiling, looking for patterns in the dry wall. "I think I love you, Matsuri," Harumin put her hands to her eyes and cried, "I think I really really love you and it just happened over time. Something about you really got to me. But as soon as my other NorthStar failed me and it was certain, that's when it appeared to me. Maybe I started kissing you tonight out of misery and suffering, but as it went further—I wouldn't have let it go any further if you hadn't answered willingly or I hadn't felt sure and calm of ease."

Matsuri felt bad now for pushing things like this. She was being a bastard after this amazing night. "What Yuzu said filled me with hurt. She isn't going to have any time for me anymore." Harumin was openly weeping, covering her face and facing the wall away from Matsuri. "I love you. I couldn't see it all this time because I was living in a fantasy, I'm sorry I couldn't see it." Now even Matsuri was crying.

"But why, how could you fall in love with me?"

Harumin cried harder, "I don't know it just happened."

"That's no excuse Haru, why me?"

Harumin looked up from her hands, swollen puffy eyes red and wet with tears. "Why?"

Matsuri waited in silence. "Because you're a beautiful person, and I wanted to be with you." Matsuri's eyes widened again and fell to a dead look. "Why…"

Harumin got up, and she hugged Matsuri, pulling her up from the bed. "Why is it so hard to believe, Matty?" She held her endearingly and fondly. "Why can't you be loved? Why is it impossible to dream that I love you?" Matsuri was now balling into her chest.

"Little one, don't feel scared, mama Haru is here to saved you from this anguish you have for yourself."

"I don't understand!" cried Matsuri through muffled cries, "Why me!? Why do I deserve this?"

Harumin hugged her tightly, "Because you're you, and I can't replace you." Matsuri's eyes opened wide, she stopped, barely holding it back, sat up out of Harumin's chest and looked into her eyes. "You really like me?" she said.

Harumin kissed her. They kissed for a minute, closed then open, unintelligibly because of their raw emotions. "You, I want you, Matty. I want you, I want to be together with you. If you're afraid we won't have intimacy, then let's go on a date!" They were hugging. "I want to go on a date with you," replied Matsuri, "I want to go on the super cutest date we can both imagine. I'll do up my hair and wear my best outfit. I'll dress clean and nice for you and be as good as possible."

"Don't change for me, Matsuri. I like you as you are."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay Harumin," she said after a while, "I'll leave it there for tonight. We'll go on some dates and stay away from physical stuff for a while, maybe just hold hands. Let's see if this relationship has legs."

"I wouldn't want to use you, Matsuri. You're too important and special for that. I know, I'm your friend."

They both hugged tightly and fell to their respective sides of the bed and fell asleep for the night.


	13. Chapter 13

Hi. I changed from Harumi to Harumin obviously (in these last three chapters) because I overthought that, duh. Rereading recently made me realize that everyone calls her Harumin but her sister says Harumi. Too late to go back though. The terrible thing is I originally wrote it as Harumin! The wasted editing! DX

Editing this has been brutal because of the work I was going to put in and the story ending all of a sudden. I've felt like there was no time to do this properly. Also, the feedback hasn't been good which hurts. But I like the story anyways. This is the longest story I've probably ever written! There were always going to be bumps in the road.

The next chapter is the last chapter. I wrote all of this in July in about a week and a half. So I've been working on my editing, which honestly needed work. I read the draft out loud and then go through a few times after, now. It's so hard thinking about the original intention and whether I think a line is awkward or not. I dealt with writer's fear for so long, I'm surprised there's such a thing as editor's fear.

Thanks to anyone who chimed in and asked for more or anything, that helped. Maybe things went too fast for people, but we can't all be Uncomfortable Truths with 200,000 words etc, haha!

Mostly I can't wait to finish this and get back to proper Citrus which hasn't left my mind in these long months. This story was originally written with the intention and belief that Citrus would break for September for the last volume probably. Not in 1,000 years could I have foreseen the story ending in August.

We all love you Saburouta, good job. Great story, we all adore it.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

They woke up in the morning and went their respective ways, promising to rekindle their relationship when the time was right. They decided they would become better acquainted with one another over time.

The two went to school for the rest of the week and planned their date for later in the week. Saturday at noon, they would meet downtown and properly introduce each other to who they really were. They were afraid of sex getting in the way of becoming closer. Both acknowledged that they were naturals, but worried that the relationship might devolve into only sex. They were voraciously attracted to each other in many ways but opening the bud they had found would take work.

Harumin was content, she didn't want to push Matsuri into a corner where she felt like she couldn't breathe. Matsuri was on pins and needles the whole week, she felt extreme anxiety about everything, her tests, her teachers, lunch time. How was she going to go about her daily life, hanging out with Yuzu and Nene, knowing that Harumin was there? She worried all week that the two of them had rushed into something without thinking about it at all. She was most of all scared to lose something she had spent so much time crafting. She felt entirely insecure.

She decided to text Harumin on Friday, after all the weird fumbling and noticeable nervousness between the two, which Yuzu and Nene couldn't help but notice, the blushing, the red faces. Yuzu had really noticed, probably because of her closeness to Mei. At first her eyes had tracked wide open, but then into a sort of sad sympathy.

"Hey, what's going on?" She had asked. To which Matsuri couldn't answer. The whole thing was confusing to her. It was something precious that felt like it was disappearing every day. "Nothing, I'll tell you about it later," she had replied, not really knowing deep inside if she would ever understand what was going on.

At the end of the week she cracked, and finally pulled out her phone. She felt desperate and sad. They had gone the whole week with hardly a word or a touch, and now she felt dried out. The brutal happiness which had pervaded before left only a gasping depression. She needed her.

She fumbled with the keys on her phone, extending her keyboard. Usually she was adept but at that moment couldn't keep it together, bashing the buttons messily. "Hi. What's up? Excited about Saturday," she had texted drolly.

Harumin was doing homework at the time, avoiding her sister even still. When the phone lit up, she had to admit to herself, she got a little wet. "Hey. Saturday, I can't wait! I won't say anything more (sweat drop on forehead emoji to represent her anxiety). This week should end already so we can start!" She sighed out loud. Her sister heard her from the other room and tried to ignore it.

Avoiding each other at school had been difficult. They were being children, avoiding their relationship in case bad juju would ruin it, like they were worried about bad luck. Matsuri had at least told her she had an exam on Friday, so she knew there had been a big test on her mind all week. Studying for such a thing was usually a breeze for such a smart girl, but everything was fraught with frustration in this situation. Matsuri hadn't been able to think about anything but Harumin all week, and that included the test, which might get in the way of her top score, but she couldn't help how it had turned out.

It was Friday night and Matsuri sent one last desperate text: "Hey Haru, whatchoo doing?" she asked. Trying to be cute. A big dragon emoji at the end.

Harumin texted back fiercely, almost breaking a finger, "Watching a movie with my sis soon. Just a soppy romance, nothing special. (smiley face, tearzy face). How are you doing?" Harumin felt romantic and swooned. She hadn't ever felt that way in her own house, merely within the confines of Matsuri's apartment.

Matsuri thought to herself, tapping her phone to her lips. She felt quite lonely, Harumin's smell still permeated her apartment and the mature strains of perfume hung like some aging tendrils and weeds she hadn't had time or the inclination to sort out. Strong scents like lavender hung everywhere, a mine field for her senses. Chintzy Gyaru perfume mixed with a small dose of something stronger to balance its cheapness, something more expensive. It smelled completely like her. Harumin's back, her lower back, Matsuri's eyes trailed down in her mind. She had had to try wearily not to stare at Harumin's body the entire week. It was a delicious treat she desperately wanted and needed. She breathed into her nostrils. Avoiding Harumin while hanging out with Nene had driven her crazy. Usually the two were so cheerful and playful with each other. They blushed madly even if their fingers had brushed together this week.

She knew well Yuzu had noticed.

Matsuri sent one last text: "It feels lonely here without you. I miss you. I wonder if I made a mistake?"

The text was dangerous but Matsuri wasn't going to lie to Harumin after the long week they had both endured, she adored her friend and wanted her with her right now.

When Harumin received it she went crazy, it felt like she'd climb up the walls. This was a big deal. Her sister noticed her reaction immediately, "What is it, Harumi? Texting a friend? Something happen at school?" Harumin looked over at her, "Oh! Nothing, nothing! I'll be right back, sis!"

She went to her room to focus on her phone. The next text had to be a masterpiece, "I bet. I'm sorry you have to live in that apartment all alone. I wish I was there with you, honestly (smiley face)."

The text made Matsuri's stomach twist and her core feel warm, like a salamander was living in there. She felt an immediate connection to the person on the other end of the line. She felt like she was ready to start bawling, which totally wasn't her style. "Harumin… can I come see you right now?"

Matsuri sent the text without a second thought. The entire week had been a blur. She was tired of getting headaches and feeling stressed out.

Harumin was shocked. It was 8:30pm, luckily the last lines from work ran until 1 am since it was a major city near Tokyo, but she was supposed to go to bed very soon. Harumin started getting emotional, she tried to focus. "I WANT to see you ANYTIME," she texted. She slammed the phone down on her bed and looked away, going completely red.

Matsuri put on a jacket in a hurry and was out the door before having a second thought. She was wearing pajamas but hadn't noticed what kind since she couldn't think of anything. Since she and Harumin had shared their most intimate moments, everything in her life had turned to a gray outer shell. School, life, everything was just in the way.

Harumin didn't know how she was going to explain this to her parents and sister. Mitsuko called from the living room, "Should I pause it?" "No! I'm coming." Harumin sat back down to the movie in a rush, feeling agitated and sweating. "Trouble?" asked her sister. Harumin looked over anxiously, "A friend is coming over." Her sister's eyes opened in shock, "At this hour?" Harumin looked down at her lap in embarrassment, but with a sly smile as well, "Yes," she said as she folded her hands in her lap warmly.

"Oh," replied her sister. "Is she taking the train?" Harumin looked back at her, "yeah." Her sister stared at her wide-eyed. "Do you want me to give her a ride? How far does she have to go to come here?"

Harumin was nervous, "30 minutes. It's just Matsuri," she shut her lashes exquisitely, dreaming of something.

"Oh," replied her sister. "Why now though?" she asked. Harumin's throat went dry and her breath caught in her throat, she coughed to clear it, "She uh, had a hard test today and wanted to talk to me about it. We've been getting…closer recently. She lives in that apartment all alone, you know."

"I see. But can't it wait for tomorrow, Harumi?" asked her sister.

"No," said Harumin instantly, "It can't. It was a big deal to her. She needs to say the words in front of me."

Her sister turned back to the movie, "Hm. Well, if you guys need a ride, let me know. I'm not doing anything tonight. I only have a half day tomorrow." Harumin was surprised, her sister didn't usually offer favors like this.

They watched the movie for another 10 minutes, and Harumin got a text. "I'm on the train. I'll be there in twenty minutes (sweat face emoji)." Harumin was getting more nervous watching the movie than she had ever been before. She couldn't place characters or action, the setting was some place in New York City. Another dumb rom com, it was all a blur.

Her sister couldn't help but notice her anxiety, "What is it with you?" she asked. After Harumin didn't reply, Mitsuko threw a pillow at her head, knocking Harumin out of her fuzzy daydreams. Harumin looked bashful and confused, she was smiling. She turned to her sister, "What's going on with you, Harumi?" Mitsuko said, laughing. "You look like you're going to meet…" Harumin stood up and went to her room.

Now her sister was concerned. She had fully intended to say 'boyfriend'. She decided to leave it alone though. She continued to watch the movie about a guy and a girl looking for each other in central park, dashing through the city streets in between tourist buses and taxis. She didn't know who the black woman was, or the English guy, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Near 9pm, Harumin received a text, "I'm outside."

Harumin unlocked her door fiercely. She walked past the couch with her sister and went directly outside her family home's front door without a jacket wearing comfortable sweatpants and two shirts. Matsuri was waiting by the fence, looking down humbly, away towards some rocks and grass. "Harumin, hey!" Matsuri said. She was about to say something else before Harumin hugged her and jammed her face into her friend's mouth. She endured a long, passionate kiss from the taller woman. It went on for what seemed like ten minutes. When they released each other, it was apparent to the whole universe that they were in love. They stared at each other not knowing who they were or where they were anymore.

Matsuri spoke up, out of breath, "It was a huge mistake to doubt it." She was being held on her forearms by Harumin, "I—", Harumin hugged her tight. "Don't say anything." Matsuri melted. "I love you… Harumin, I love you! I'm sorry, I got scared. Everything happened so fast"

"I was scared too," said Harumin. They looked at each other, their eyes gleaming in the darkness. By now they had gotten used to the dark and could see each other well. A streetlight reflected in both of their irises.

"I fucking love you, Matsuri. I don't know why," said Harumin, "I just want to be with you, I have to be with you."

Matsuri started to cry, "I don't understand any of this either. I don't know what happened to us. One day we were just friends, and the next day we're lovers. What this is I don't know, I just know I want more of it."

Harumin held Matsuri tightly, smelling her hair. She meditated on an answer, calm next to her warmth. "I don't know what happened between us, but I guess it was like two planets that collided into each other's orbit and created something new…" Harumin felt romantic, she whispered, "You're my world."

"Harumin, I love you as you are. I like everything about you, your Gyaru outfits, your weird clothes. I think they're sexy, I like your style. I like the way you wear your hair, your high heels. I love the way you fill out a school uniform, or a pair of jeans. I'm obsessed with your laugh, watching you. Your pretty eyes, your nose."

Harumin smiled down at her, "You make me feel good about myself, Matsuri. Your wild antics always make me laugh and comfort me. I feel composed when I'm with you."

"Yes, alright," said Matsuri.

"Your cute body, your energetic little tongue. They way you make trouble, how you make every situation perilous and exciting, how nothing ever rests with you. You always uncover the truth. My little troublemaker," Harumin smiled. She put her hands through Matsuri's hair and sniffed deeply. She knew Matsuri's little odors well at this point, her scent was comforting.

Matsuri put her hands around Harumin's lower back, then lower.

"Mmh," Harumin started to feel turned on, "I think you're cute, Matsuri. The date we planned is going to be nice. I've looked forward to it all week, but it doesn't quite match you being here. It seems like a distant dream now."

Matsuri bit her lip, "Is it possible you could smuggle me into your house tonight? Your room maybe? I'd even sleep on your couch." Matsuri almost passed out saying the words, it was all what she most desperately wanted. Her whole universe would crumble if she didn't get the things she needed right now. If she didn't get into that house tonight her love was going to starve. She put her hands lower over Harumin's butt, rubbing vigorously. Harumin was so turned on, they were a two-person sandwich now.

"I will make it happen, Matsuri. I'll tell them you must do something early in the morning and you wouldn't have time to go to the station. Maybe something like—"

"But I still want to see you tomorrow too, Harumin."

Harumin suddenly started planning. "Did you bring a change of clothes with you?" Matsuri was suddenly embarrassed, "No. I forgot." Matsuri sniffled a bit, it was cold. "I'm sorry, that's not something I would usually do. I just jumped on the train."

"Come inside then. Me and my sister are just watching a movie. You're welcome in my house whenever you want. I think it was a romcom or something," she winked, Matsuri reached a finger up to her eye to stop a tear. She was touched by Harumin's compassion.

Matsuri could have wept, "Yes. Sounds good, haha." Harumin rolled her eyes. The two went inside. Harumin's sister immediately noticed Matsuri when she entered, "Hello, Matsuri. It's late, isn't it? Though I suppose it is Friday. How was the test?" Matsuri stared blankly at her, then, "Oh! It was fine. You know tests, at that school they're really tough!"

"Oh, but I heard you got the top grade in your class, Matsuri." Matsuri looked up at Harumin, not knowing what to say. Harumin looked back with a loss. Matsuri looked worried, "She did! She's very smart!" Matsuri blushed, and her sister noticed the look. "Well, I'm going to go to bed now. Do whatever you want out here. Harumin, don't stay up too late now."

"Thanks, Mitsuko," Harumin smiled thankfully, and her sister winked at her. She didn't know what the wink meant but at least her sister was out of her hair. Mitsuko usually didn't wink.

"Sit on the couch, Matsuri. I'll find a movie we can watch. Have you ever seen something called 'Empire Strikes Back'?" Matsuri sat down on the middle cushion and placed her hand on the left pad nearest the door. "I'll get you some water if you want, just a second. Do you want ice?" She went into the kitchen and quickly went to the fridge for ice and water. Harumin handed Matsuri the glass, the pink haired girl looked exhausted. "Thanks, Harumin. That's nice of you. Please sit down."

Harumin sat on the seat to the right of Matsuri where her sister had been sitting, and Matsuri immediately put her arm around her waist. The arm and hand eventually roved towards her buttocks, rubbing unthinkingly. "Mmh, Matsuri, what the hell, haha!"

Matsuri finished her water in one gulp, she was thirsty from the train ride. "I ran away, Harumin. I sometimes do that. I'm sorry," she said whimpering, like a dog with its tail between its legs. Harumin waited for her to get it all out. "I'm not ever going to do that to you again, I'm going to face this head on, right now. I'm not going to drive us both crazy by acting like a snob like I usually do. You deserve better than that."

Harumin admitted to herself, it felt good to have this girl next to her. She hadn't thought she would get such nice bodily contact tonight. Matsuri's hand knew exactly what to do. She laughed, "You like my butt, don't you Matsuri." She looked over at the girl with a raised eyebrow.

Matsuri looked away and blushed, "A lot." She didn't stop.

Harumin smiled. "You're so cute, but don't be so conspicuous, in case one of my family members pops out."

Matsuri smiled a toothy smile, and they watched a dumb rom com instead. Something with the same English white guy about the Red Sox.

They almost fell asleep shoulder to shoulder, but Harumin reminded Matsuri by tapping her on the shoulder, "Come to my room. Let's go to sleep together."

Harumin held Matsuri's hand and guided her to her room. This time Matsuri was the one who felt insecure like she didn't belong. "You'll have to sleep on a futon in the morning, before anyone might wake us up and see us together."

"Okay." Matsuri nodded. She squeezed Harumin's hand.

They got to Harumin's room and immediately started disrobing, it was almost natural at this point. "I still don't like that we haven't gotten to know each other better," said Matsuri, "I want to be intimate, but I also want to mentally be with you as well. I'm interested in you not just physically but as a partner."

Harumin paused with her shirt over her head. She took the rest off slowly. "It's my room, Matsuri. My bed, my floor, it's all the same to me right now. This is all me, my space. We can just sleep with each other and not do anything if you want. I'm too tired to do anything except cuddle or spoon anyways. It's been a long week in more ways than one."

Matsuri agreed to herself, nodding. "Right. Sorry. I'm being embarrassing."

"It's okay, Matsuri, it's okay to go slow. We don't have to be like we were last weekend. Everything happened very quickly because I felt insecure. But I agree, this can be more than just last weekend and I want it to be. I agree with your approach."

They were both in their underwear, Harumin's yellow, rose lace bordered top and bottom and Matsuri's basic white fare. Harumin got into her bed with the giant comforter on top. The railings were oak, and the sheets were white with blue cross hatches. It looked comfortable, like something out of a catalog. "Come, Matsuri, join me in bed. Let's sleep together tonight. It's comfy in here with me." She patted an open spot with her hand. Matsuri didn't need any more convincing, especially not tonight since she felt like putting their relationship on pause had almost strangled her. She crept into the inviting open spot and Harumin romantically lowered the blanket and sheet over her, hugging Matsuri into her body with her arm, tucking her in and closing all distance. The sensation drove Matsuri wild. "Oh my gosh Harumin, that was fantastic, you feel so warm."

"That damned cold apartment," said Harumin as she frowned, her hand sliding up Matsuri's back around her bra strap.

Matsuri hugged her friend back around her waist, Harumin put her arm around Matsuri's shoulders. They smiled in each other's embrace and enjoyed being close together for half an hour. They fell asleep in an embrace, pulling apart in their sleep and waking momentarily during the night and then falling back to sleep. Harumin's body heat was overwhelming, but great this time of season, when spring still attacked with bitter cold nights. Matsuri was endlessly comfy, she hadn't felt so together over the entire stressful week. The bed was only a twin but that made it better, they couldn't get away from each other.

Throughout the night they spooned incidentally or draped an arm across the other's body. They woke up in the morning light, a bustling house going on around them. They woke out of their stupor and immediately hugged each other, legs crisscrossing, cheeks touching.

"Today's the day, Matty. It finally arrived."

"Yes. It feels good not to be putting it off anymore."

They lay there in the great morning heat of the house, feeling each other's underwear and bodies tingling against each other, fine little body hairs coursing against each other. They took in the smell of each other. They let their legs fall crosswise, thighs touching between their legs. "I want to die like this someday, if I have to die," said Matsuri, feeling a strong emotional pull the minute she said it.

"I want a bigger bed," said Harumin. "You woke me up."

"Sorry," said Matsuri, looking a bit down. She hadn't expected her lover to blow up the ambiance so quickly.

"It's okay," said Harumin. "Being woken up by you in the middle of the night is the best sensation. I wake up and then I go back off to heaven when I realize you're here next to me."

Harumin turned over and Matsuri spooned Harumin's butt, feeling her pudginess there but loving it. "Mmh, you're so hot, you know that? Not just temperature-wise, but I have a massive hard on for you."

Harumin lifted an eyebrow, "Yeah, so you always convey to me. Otherwise you'd keep your hands off." She reached down and put her hand over Matsuri's which were linked together around her abdomen. Matsuri pulled her groin into Harumin's backend. "It's sure the way I like to spend a night."

At that moment Harumin's sister knocked on the door, "Time to wake up!"

The girls got out of bed totally shocked. Harumin wouldn't have known what to do if her sister had torn open the door. She hadn't even put out a futon like she had planned. She had been too excited to jump into bed with Matsuri. They dressed in the same state, but when they realized that no confrontation with Mitsuko was oncoming, they relaxed a little more. They dressed formally, with whatever Harumin could manage for Matsuri. Date-like clothing only if you thought about it, pretty but not overly so to draw attention.

They scrambled out of the room expecting trouble but finding none. "Mom and dad are at an event already," said her sister, rolling her eyes at them. She was sitting at the dining table, having her cereal and orange juice. Her eyes said everything her mouth didn't. "You know you could be a little less obvious about it."

"Huh?" said Harumin.

Her sister just rolled her eyes. "What are you guys going to do today?" The two looked at each other, "The movies."

"Of course you are."

Mitsuko smiled just a little without trying to let on and left to go do whatever else she needed to do that day.

The two girls smiled at each other and held each other's hands under the table. They ate their breakfast in relative peace, just feeling at calm with each other.


	14. Chapter 14

Matsuri had to go shopping for something nice to wear and went to a salon to get her hair done. She had waited patiently while Harumin selected clothes and did her hair for the date at home.

The date didn't start until 1pm, an hour after they had originally planned. Matsuri was glad she could look her best. All the time she was getting her hair done, the stylists looked over at Harumin waiting in the corner reading a magazine, surreptitiously peeking over now and again with a blushing face. Why were they dressing so nicely on a Saturday and why was her friend waiting for her so conspicuously? But it was a passing fancy, they paid and left, holding hands on the way out, making them equally a new tone of scarlet.

"Thanks for waiting, Harumin. Let's start our date!"

"Right," replied Harumin.

They went to a couple little shops and looked at figurines, they thought about what they would buy, little penguins, tiny mice, mini cows or some other doodad. They went to a café and had snacks and tea, and then went walking together side by side through the city.

Overall it was a lovely day, blue skies and the sun's rays darted among the Saturday crowds. The two blended in with couples and families enjoying the end of the week.

Yet somewhere inside, Matsuri wasn't okay with how simple it all was. She had expected a kind of revelation about her love for Harumin in all this. It hadn't happened. It had been a typical date. Now she was worried that they had left everything in the bedroom and this whole thing wouldn't last. She desperately wanted their relationship to work because she loved Harumin deep down. She had loved her since the first moment she laid eyes on her, had wanted her desperately. Harumin was her goal, her everything.

She bit her thumbnail bitterly, "Damnit," she said under her breath. Nothing was going right, nothing had changed. How did Harumin really feel about her? Did they really have a future at all? In telling Matsuri that she loved her, Harumin had thought that she had communicated everything she needed to. But that didn't happen, Matsuri was still missing something. She was deathly afraid of being a semi-temporary girlfriend, a placeholder since Yuzu had chosen another. Matsuri was frightened Harumin would move on later, be it boys or girls. She was afraid this was a one-sided relationship, of which she carried most of the weight while Harumin floated along until finding something better. Matsuri's complexes of inadequacy, insecurity and jealousy were now carrying the most weight in her life. Perhaps it was from her parents moving on from her, divorcing and leaving her with just enough to survive as ordered by the Japanese court system. Her future was admittedly bleak, with few prospects unless she earned them through her own sweat. There was no sugar daddy waiting for her or family lineage like Harumin's. She was all alone once high school ended.

The financial and emotional pressure was getting to Matsuri. She wanted to know where she stood in this world. She desperately loved Harumin, she knew that. Harumin was opaque though, unreadable, confused about everything, uncertain. Matsuri was a bright girl but Harumin was one of those people she couldn't read, a perfect gambler by token of her own insecurities. The two were at a mismatch when it came to creating intimacy and sustaining it.

The two girls, one tall and the other only two thirds of her height at most, walked to the park together. Children were playing near a fountain and couples were getting tired from the heat and hanging out in the shade. That time of season where hot days intermixed with cold nights, a transition period for mister sun. This was the place of her downfall, Matsuri thought. It was too peaceful and quiet, endemic of her need for consternation and conflict.

Matsuri strongly ushered Harumin to a shady, secluded spot in between some trees and brush. They entered a nook in the park and spied the river downwind from where they stood. Matsuri had had enough and sat on a rock, sweating and starting to lose hope, breaking down and crying from the stress.

This shocked Harumin, who thought everything had been going well. They had laughed and played, held hands. What more could she do? She began to doubt the mental health of Matsuri and felt desperate.

"God Matsuri, what is it now?" Harumin said, putting her arm behind Matsuri's back and holding her side, "How can I prove anything to you if you're going to be like this? What's wrong?"

Matsuri looked up to her friend with tears streaming down. "It's true, I really am a devastated mess, Harumin." She laughed sardonically, trying to wipe the wet mess away from her face with her fingers and thumb, her pink nails straining to hide what was evident.

Harumin bit her lip, trying to hold herself back. "Damnit, we've had sex, I've told you I love you, I let you sleep with me in my own bed, not even worrying what my parents would've thought of it. But you're still like this, you don't trust me."

Matsuri looked up to Harumin, "I'm like this with everybody, I can't help it. I'm honest."

Harumin huffed, "Maybe I can't be loved?" Matsuri said doubting her own self now.

Harumin got up and walked around the small pink haired girl crying on the rock, not knowing what to do.

"Matsuri, you've had a tough time. I know it. But your grades are amazing, you have a top ranking in our class. You could go anywhere, you could do anything. If you need help with college, I'll be right there every step of the way. I'll even support you financially if I must. I love you."

Matsuri's tears were starting to subside. "Please don't cry, my little one, I beg you. Don't you know how it devastates me? I'm confused when you're confused, and fearful," Harumin put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

Matsuri looked up plaintively, "I know. I'm not doing it for sympathy. I can't help it."

"Well then why? How can I show you that I love you? You won't give me any straight answers. I don't understand your confusion…maybe we moved too quick."

Matsuri reaching out and gripped Harumin's wrist like a vice, shaking into white, "I've been in love with you since I saw you. Now that I have you, I can't bear the thought of losing you." Tears started to form again. "Please understand, Harumin. You're so important to me. I see a future with you. I want to give you all of myself. But I can't figure out how."

Harumin was scared but didn't dare pull away from the Matsuri's hand. "The way you started falling for me suddenly, pushed my careful plans to the foreground. I've been flirting with you this whole time and suddenly you claimed me. I WANT you and NEED you. I've told myself this every night since we've been hanging out, every time I went home. I always wanted MORE OF YOU. It was NEVER ENOUGH. But my stars have fallen out of orbit. Maybe since I got everything I wanted so quickly, it's stunned me. I don't know how to fully accept and appreciate you for who you are because I haven't truly gotten to know you as well as I'd like."

Harumin's wrist hurt but she was caught in a daze. Her vision was so focused on Matsuri's eyes that she got tunnel vision. It was a brutal onslaught of love from Matsuri. She had never considered their relationship this seriously before, she had to admit to herself then that she might have been playing with her emotions in a way.

"And if it's not you Harumin, then it will have to be someone else. My future isn't set like all the other students at the prissy school we go to. I must find someone, I need help. But I get scared when I think of how desperately I will have to search for your replacement. I don't know why but I see something in you I can't ignore."

Harumin wrenched her wrist away at last. She wasn't going to take this craziness anymore. Her lack of communication skills was drowning her right now and the things Matsuri was saying were moving too fast for her mind to contemplate.

She felt the shock evaporate and got on her knees and hugged Matsuri's lap. "What can I even say, Matsuri?" she started to cry.

Matsuri stroked the girl's long mane of hair. "You're everything to me, Harumin. My whole universe. I'm sorry I'm putting this pressure on you right now, but I'm serious."

Harumin spoke up, the side of her head still in Matsuri's lap, "I know I don't always say everything I'm thinking. And I didn't do a wonderful job with Yuzu, in your eyes. But she told me 'thanks for waiting.' I couldn't interfere no matter how much I wanted to. I had to stay faithful to her as a friend, I had to wait until she could tell me herself. I have motherly instincts with people, I will protect Yuzu, but only if she asks for it. And I want to protect you as well." She rubbed Matsuri's thigh.

This was news to Matsuri, Harumin had never told her about her true thought process with Yuzu during the time when Mei had left. "I want to be there for my friends and lovers, but you have to be blunt with me. Hit me over the head with it, I'm obtuse. Otherwise I'm a little kitten getting lost in your eyes and drowning in a bowl of milk. I need help with communicating things. We can build this relationship."

Matsuri held Harumin's head in her arms, softly hugging her, "Then I have a question for you, and please don't take it the wrong way, ok?"

"Yes?" Harumin replied.

"Why do you love me? Why did you choose me? I'm barely on your level physically and I'm such a nuisance. I bully people, I bullied you, but it was out of affection. Just what did I do to deserve you? I'm surprised by all of this."

Harumin looked up at the girl's face. "Silly." She reached up and cupped Matsuri's cheek in her hands and then kissed Matsuri right there, a peck on the lips.

She stood up then and rubbed the dirt off her knees and skirt. Harumin held out her hand, "Come with me."

Harumin led Matsuri down a hill into a shady glen near the river. They were still far away from the crowds fishing, swimming and sitting by and lazing around on the Saturday afternoon. She led them behind a big fern bush and hugged Matsuri.

"I make love to you and you still feel insecure. I tell you I love you and you don't believe me. Do you want to be in love with me?" Matsuri gasped in shock but she couldn't pull away because of Harumin's strength. "Yes, of course I do! I just…"

Harumin hugged her tighter. "I trust you completely. I wish you trusted me too."

Matsuri couldn't get away.

"Is it because we're both women? Or your messed-up parents?"

Matsuri tore herself away. "How dare you!" she said. Harumin could see the hate and venom in her eyes. She collapsed in silent tears at the shock. "The right words won't come, I'm sorry. They won't they come, and I can't fix this."

Matsuri paced in front of her. "Don't talk about my family! You—" Harumin was weeping now.

"I'm sorry," she said in gasps. Matsuri was mad at Harumin but especially herself. They were like two scorpions stinging each other in a desperate attempt at love.

"Harumin, just communicate with me. I can't alleviate these worries if you don't talk."

Harumin looked up at Matsuri, "But what should I say? I'm confused."

Matsuri rolled her eyes. She was getting ready to walk out on this date.

"I'm really just like Mei, aren't I? A deaf dumb mute when it comes to love. I can't get two words across."

Matsuri stopped. "I really do like you, Matsuri. I told you I think you're cute, I…"

She was shaking and trying to coax something out of herself. "I got used to you being there. Every time Yuzu didn't show up to hang out, you and Nene were there. I got used to your presence." She was on all fours now in the grass, gasping to come up with something before Matsuri walked away. "You were always touching me and fondling me, and eventually it made a dent, I guess. I woke up one day to find out that a part of you was inside of me. I got used to your warmth and comfort. You penetrated my soul and it just came out naturally."

She was breathing heavily, "I needed you, in my hour of need, you were there. It meant a lot to me."

Matsuri was standing there with her arms crossed. "But how do I know you need me like I need you?" Matsuri said, with all the force of her body. Harumin crawled to Matsuri on all fours, putting her hands on her shoes. "What can I tell you so that you believe me," she muttered, shaking her head. She was like a big shaggy dog now.

"I want you and need you. I don't have another close friend like you. Yuzu won't be by my side now. So, I've chosen you."

"That's not good enough. I need more."

Matsuri almost back off. "I like sleeping with you, and hearing you moan in the night when I incidentally touch you. I like watching you turn over in your sleep, hugging me in the morning."

"Yes…" said Matsuri, not satisfied.

"I like having breakfast with you, talking to you, getting to hear all about you. Kissing you."

"So?" Matsuri said indifferently. Harumin looked desperate and Matsuri almost relented.

"I'll lick your shoes to make you stay. I'll kiss your feet, I'll do anything, just don't go," she said, trembling now, holding onto Matsuri's shoes to stop her from walking. "Huhh," said Matsuri. She wanted to walk away.

"You're a mystery to me, Matsuri. I want to find out what's inside of you. I like prodding the box to see if it jumps or moves, do you know what I mean? You're… interesting. I'm not as smart as you are. This feels cruel, really. If you had to you could probably trick me into doing a few things. Look at me, I'm begging you to stay with me, but I have no idea what's going on right now."

"Why me?" said Matsuri again, losing all her patience.

"Boy…" muttered Harumin, "You could tie me down in leather straps and whip me, and I probably still wouldn't come up with the answer."

Matsuri sighed. "Don't you know anything, Harumin?"

Harumin looked up at the girl, the glaring sunlight right behind her stinging her eyes. She thought and thought, trying to put two brain cells together. "Why do two people need such a reason? Are you afraid I'll leave you, with me trying so hard to keep you here? I'm desperate!"

Matsuri felt tired. She had put Harumin through enough of this, she thought. She sat on the ground cross-legged. "You're important, Harumi, but you're so hard to read."

Harumin crawled up to her and kissed her on the neck longingly, "My body says yes, my mind says yes. I feel assured with you. Why do you doubt it? Do you long for somebody else, my love?

Matsuri could barely stand it. "You're my everything. I guess I wanted some kind of love confession or something."

"Me going down on you and making you cum wasn't a love confession?" Matsuri was starting to shake now, Harumin was doing her absolute best to turn her on, and her big puppy dog-tongue was slathering her in Harumin's saliva, driving her utterly crazy.

"Such love is unintelligible. I want something concrete."

"Why can't I just fall in love with you?" Harumin asked, pushing Matsuri on the ground by her shoulders, looking ready to devour her prey. "I don't know why you're with me though. Why would you stay?"

With that, Harumin looked truly puzzled. "I think you fail to see your own beauty, my child," she smiled.

She pushed Matsuri's legs apart and licked her thigh a little behind her knee. Matsuri just tried to look nonplussed.

"Lick me all you want, you rascal, you won't get my lucky charms."

"Where are they?" grumbled Harumin, "where are those damn lucky charms. Here?" She lifted Matsuri's shirt and licked around her bellybutton. It was driving Matsuri totally crazy, little nips of Harumin's tongue darting around the center of her stomach, going over every nook and cranny. "How could a girl-crazy girl like me love anybody else but a mysterious, bullying, hazardous wench like yourself, Matty?"

Long luxurious kisses lapped at the skin below Matsuri's bra, driving her even crazier. "I love when your little hairs stand on end when I lick you, it lets me know I'm doing my job." Licking, kissing, slobbering. "Your body responds instantaneously. It always salutes my big tongue when we meet each other. So responsive."

Matsuri couldn't stand it anymore. She carefully guided Harumin's face to hers and sucked on her tongue, until Harumin's whole tongue was in her mouth, tasting the other girl's teeth and gums, above and below Matsuri's own tongue. Matsuri had this gigantic tongue stomping around in her mouth, making her eyes bulge at the sensation of how much Harumin was giving her.

After a couple minutes of this Harumin left her mouth, strings of saliva linking between their mouths, a voracious look on Harumin's face and eyes. Her brows were furrowed seductively.

"I…" mumbled Matsuri, starting to tear up again, "I want you like crazy. You drive me wild. You're so attractive, my dream."

Harumin awoke from her trance slightly, "Have you always been gay, Matsuri?" Matsuri looked off to the side. "Yes, but it doesn't really matter. I just like to play," she blushed.

Harumin inspected Matsuri, "My sister is probably dating a girl right now. If my parents found out both of their daughters were lesbians they'd probably go nuts with grief. And yet here I am," She lay next to Matsuri, head on hand, elbow in grass, looking at Matsuri and seductively casting her fingers and long nails over Matsuri's body.

"I'm right here for you." Harumin smiled. Matsuri looked concerned and anxious. Harumin hugged her stomach. "I would never have let you near me or touch me if there hadn't been something inside myself that said it was okay." Matsuri's ears perked up. "You never would've gotten an inch close to me."

Harumin was rubbing her jaw line over Matsuri's stomach, a snake with a panda bear in its clutches. "I understand if you're afraid that you'd be just a replacement for Yuzu. But I think I knew all the time I couldn't ever have her. She was never interested."

"You, on the other hand, were." Harumin was biting Matsuri's nipples tenderly through her clothes. "What if I'm a big dominant lesbian who was waiting for you to drop the ball, so I could have you? What if I saw something of myself in you?" Still playfully biting.

Matsuri was going crazy from the contact, almost shattered by how amazing Harumin was being right now. "Look at this giant girl-body on top of you. I already have a lot of the figure of a woman. I'm still growing. I could date a guy, and yet I'm all over you."

Matsuri was frustrated, "I don't doubt your sexuality, I doubt your consciousness, Harumin."

Matsuri got up and started to walk away. Harumin looked sad but quickly collected her things to follow.

"Matsuri," she said out of breath, chasing the girl up another hill with a dirt trail. "I honestly don't know why. This just happened. It had to happen."

"Not buying it," said Matsuri, as she slipped on a rock and banged her knee in the dirt, "Damnit!" She was trying to climb up and away from Harumin, who was not very athletic and losing her way. "Wait, bitch. I'm not done with you." Harumin was very tired. She wanted this to stop. Couldn't they do it over dinner?

Matsuri got to the top of the hill and was breathing heavily. Harumin was still ambling up the hill side, "Haa haa haaa," Matsuri smiled, "You stupid…" Harumi was out of breath and rolled onto the top like an over worn sausage. She almost fell face first and was covered in dirt. "Whyyy-"

"It's pretty up here," said Matsuri. Harumin huffed and got up, hands on knees, sweating. She looked around, it was nice up here and the city was pleasant. "Playing with you Matsuri, is always rough," she breathed hard, exhausted.

Matsuri grabbed Harumin's arm. "I just don't get why you like me now. Why we're in a relationship. It makes my head spin." Matsuri had a troublesome look in her eye, precocious, finger on her lips, being a kid as usual. "Matsuri-," Harumin slipped a bit and Matsuri helped her stay balanced. "Why are you being like this? How can I prove myself to you?"

Matsuri grabbed both of Harumin's arms, "Why me? Why am I so lucky? Who's to say you won't leave me for somebody else?" Then it dawned on Harumin, "You're special, Matsuri. We've known each other an entire year. I like playing with you."

"So, I'm a playmate?" Matsuri precociously joked. Disgruntled, "No! Aargh, that's not what I meant. I mean, I like it rough." Matsuri smiled and showed surprise, "So you like rough girls!"

"Uurgh, Matsuri…" Matsuri was playing with the older girl again, treating her unfairly.

Matsuri walked a distance, Harumin concentrated. "I like you for who you are—"

"No."

Harumin focused more. "You're cute—"

"No!"

"What can I say to convince you that I love only you?" gasped Harumin, at the end of her rope with this date but knowing the sex was worth it.

"I'm a nosy brat, Harumin. I don't know how to love or receive love. I don't even know what love is."

Harumin walked up behind her, face to the back of Matsuri's neck. "That's true. I didn't think of that, I'm sorry. You've always been stubborn so that figures."

Matsuri turned around, "That's a good start."

Harumin took her hands, "I'll try harder. I'll convince you that love is something you can feel. I'll show you love. I will."

"Yes."

"I'll care for you."

"Yes."

"I'll be there for you."

"Yes."

"I'll put your concerns above my own."

"And I'll put yours above mine," said Matsuri. This was the partner she wanted.

"I want you to be there for me, to spend time with me, get to know me better. I want intimacy."

Harumin blushed, "Tell me your secrets, Harumin. What do you really desire?"

Harumin coughed a bit, awkwardly with her arm behind her head, "I want to go to college. I'd like to be a nurse or a doctor. I'd like to be around kids."

Matsuri was surprised, "Really?"

"Yes."

"Wow, you are a good person, aren't you?"

"I don't try to be. I just want to be the best I can. I care for little ones. I like kids."

Matsuri nearly broke down, she hugged Harumin deeply. "I love you."

"Yeah?"

"I want to go to medical school to. I like the idea of doing that. Or if I fail, then maybe finance."

"Be whatever you want to be, Matsuri."

"I want to be by your side."

"OK."

"And tell you about everything at the end of the day."

"Alright."

"I want to care for you and only you."

Harumin was smiling, "I want to be there when you fall, get hurt and stumble."

Harumin smiled more, "I want to spend nearly all of my time with you."

"As much as I can bear, okay?"

"We don't have to tell the others until you want to," added Harumin.

"Okay."

"I want to play games with you, because it's fun."

"It's always fun being around you, Matsuri. Don't you know that's why I fell in love with you?"

They hugged, then held hands, and descended the hill into their future. It was wide open for two brilliant girls who had agreed to love and understand each other. It was a bright, sunny, open future.

The date concluded with dinner, even though they were both filthy from playing outside and their hair was a mess. They had dirt and grass stains all over them and people gave them weird looks but they both knew it was worth it. They kissed in a dark corner by a tree heading home off the side of the street. Matsuri grabbed her stuff to get back on the train when they got to Harumin's house.

"Don't forget about me for one second, Harumin."

"No, never."

They French kissed, then walked to the open platform for the train, holding hands. "Today was nice," said Harumin.

"I want to live with you when you graduate." Harumi was surprised. "What if I go to a college far away though?"

"Then we'll work something out."

"Alright." They held hands and rubbed their noses together, and Matsuri departed for the train.

It would be wild to live with Matsuri, and something told Harumi that she would never quite get tired of it. Matsuri's surprises were the best part of her life, otherwise she was doggone bored. "Damn," she said, she had just thought of another reason.

She laughed openly, "I want that silly girl in my life for a long time. And the sex, too!" She skipped her way home, knowing her future was certain and she had only to wait for graduation for something very nice.

Matsuri arrived at her apartment once again, but now she could deal with it knowing she wouldn't be entombed there forever.

"I want to fuck Harumin right now," she said to the gloomy walls of her apartment, staring at her grey and cold surroundings.

She made dinner and got into bed. No masturbation tonight, she would save it for when she met Harumin again. She had a plan to stick her hand down her pants at school and make her cry from joy when no one was looking. It would be the finest sex event ever and there was still time to get it done while still being in high school.

"The rest of the year is meat and potatoes, as far as I am concerned. One fun, bumpy ride," she told the walls of her solitude which had always bothered her but now felt like an extension of herself, ignorable but still always there. She could finally let go her ego and be with someone who would take her mind off it.

She went to sleep and dreamed of dark hair and Harumin's body parts that she could suck on. It felt filthy and thrilling. Matsuri was deeply in love with the ample parts of Harumin, her witchy attitude and excited fervor. She might be the only one alive who could match it, Matsuri thought. The perfect partner in every way for her, there was always more to explore with that girl, figuratively and literally.

She slept contentedly. In no time at all, she would be sleeping with the girl she liked every night of her life and make a home in her new abode. She would have someone to come home to, someone to love, to love her back, not like her missing parents or the walls that surrounded her. It made her squeal with joy in her sleep, even though the room was cold. Her past had always haunted her, the sins of her parents, random people on the street downtown where she spent all her time. She had thought she was headed the wrong way in life and for once she had actual direction. She never slept so well in her young life, not since her parents had thrown her in this place so they could pursue other partners.

She had Yuzu to thank for all of it, and she couldn't wait to share her new gift with the girl. Yuzu was one of those gifts that kept on giving.

Maybe a 4p? Nah.


End file.
